I’m in the last year of my 20s and from my experience, here I share 20 things you must do in your 20s instead of finding love.
If you are 20-something, your life right now shouldn’t be spent trying to fall in love or even having to worry about a partner.
Instead, your 20s should be spent discovering yourself, building friendships, spending time with yourself and creating the life you would love to live.
It’s a privilege to be young and alive being 20-something!
Breathe in for a moment and acknowledge this privilege.
Ah! All the things we can do to make it the best decade of our life with our youthful energy IF we only direct it wisely.
This is not to say that you should totally forsake love. Love is wonderful and I love love.
But love is not something you have to find. Love is something that you must let it come to you.
Because just like happiness, you cannot seek love if you wish to fall in love. It comes when you’re not finding it at all.
So until it arrives and even after, work on yourself, feel complete by yourself and create your dream life which you would love to share!
And when that love does come to you, let it be the cherry on top of the cake.
That love when it comes will be wonderful and you will know how to value that love.
But for now, if you are single, or in a wrong relationship, try to let go and spend your 20s being yourself and discovering yourself and discovering your worth.
Here are 20 things to do in your 20s instead of finding love. I hope you really give them a thought.
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1. Take more risks
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I know the 20s are a hard time. We are all navigating our way and wanting to pave our path.
But we who are 20-something also love to take challenges.
It’s the society we live in that wants to make us dull. It wants us to study, go to work and repeat for the rest of our lives.
Then it wants us to come home and watch Netflix, scroll through the internet and buy things as a consumer.
But life is so much more. Your 20s are for going out of your comfort zone.
Instead of going after love and worrying about relationships or being in the wrong one, your 20s are for going after whatever scares you and excites you at the same time.
I hear my 20-something brothers and sisters saying they are bored with life. But I feel they’re not bored with life, but bored without having any challenges in life.
In your 20s, take those risks.
It will be scary, but it will be so worth it! You will learn and enjoy it so much if you have the learning spirit in you.
Stop thinking about what other people might think. Don’t let that stop you from doing what you want to do.
Have the spirit of taking on challenges head-on. Don’t just be a great player in video games, but be a great player in life.
Some small posts you might love:
- The spirit of experimenting with life
- Why you should be okay with wasting time
- On embracing the joy of not knowing
2. Read more books
If I had only one piece of advice to give to 20-year-olds, it would be this- Read more books.
Read books about life. Read books about love. Read books about philosophy.
Read books about mindfulness. Read books about successful people. Read books about business.
Read books about everything that interests you or catches your attention.
If there’s anything that will make your 20s worth living, it is by cultivating the habit of reading good books. It will shape your life and change your life in a new direction.
I started becoming an ardent reader in my early 20s. Before that, I hadn’t touched a single book from my father’s collection.
Now I can’t believe I left those books lying unread for so long. Only after my father’s passing did I read them.
Well, better late than never. But I am forever grateful for all the books I have read. They shape me and my thoughts more than anything else.
If not anything, please cultivate the habit of reading.
3. Find your hobby
Life isn’t dull or boring. This Earth is full of life. If you look with ‘new eyes’, you will see the magic happening everywhere.
Just step out and stop looking with your ‘normal eyes’ which looks at everything as ‘normal’.
Feel the trees, look at the shades of flowers, listen to the birds, the river flowing, watch the mountains, the moon, and everything. They are all enjoying and freely giving.
As humans, we too are here to fully enjoy and just BE. There is nothing that existence hasn’t or cannot provide us.
Earth is bountiful.
We must only be willing to look, find, try and experiment.
Spend your 20s finding that joy.
A hobby will give that to you. You need not be perfect at it. Hobbies are not for being perfect, it is for bringing joy and fun back into your life.
Stop complaining about how meaningless life is and try out new things and find a hobby if you think right now you have no interests.
Who knows a hobby you never tried before may turn out to be your life’s passion.
4. Write your goals
Instead of spending your 20s chasing and running after love, set your intentions and write down your goals.
It’s not enough to have your goals in your head. You need to write them down if you are serious about wanting to materialise them.
Make a notebook where you write down only your goals and keep them close to you.
Don’t be afraid or hesitate to write down what you truly wish to achieve in life. You are in your 20s. Remember, you can make anything possible.
Because you are alive, anything is possible. And especially so because you are in your 20s and your whole life is waiting for you untouched.
If you feel clueless about what goals to set, here are some ideas
- 60 good monthly goals and ideas for every area of life
- How to set weekly goals and crush them
- Deadly Goal setting mistakes to avoid
5. Make a vision board
Have you ever made your own vision board? If not, the 20s are the perfect time to make it.
A vision board is a board where you put out pictures of your goals and dreams in a board.
It helps you manifest your dreams quicker because it helps in the process of visualisation and just looking at our vision board makes us feel hopeful and happy.
Making a vision board helps you get excited about working on your dreams and more importantly, not forget about them.
So make a vision board. Put your dreams out there and work on manifesting them!
6. Build friendships
I once read somewhere in a quote that our young life shouldn’t be spent trying to fall in love or worrying about why we haven’t found love yet.
Instead, we must work on building friendships, and as you build good friendships, may be one day you’ll suddenly meet your soulmate or you’ll realise you want to spend the rest of your life with your best friend.
There is no need to worry about relationships in your 20s.
Simply be you. Be open to meeting new people, be open to having interesting conversations, making new friends, building friendships and just trying to be a good friend.
Just take care of friendships and Love will take care of itself because love is nothing but a by-product of friendship.
You will never be as young as you are right now. So travel and make travelling your priority.
If there is something I would have wished to do more in my 20s, it is this. I wish I had travelled more and not cared about money.
I wish I simply travelled to get new experiences and be brave.
But my intentions for my 30s are to travel more and travel slow. Not the kind of travel that only cares about having been there and taken a picture.
I want to travel slow without any hurry and live and really notice how the place makes me feel and how the people are.
So if you’re still in your early 20s or even mid-20s, spend your 20s travelling with intention.
I think now it really doesn’t matter if you have money or not.
As Paulo Coelho says so rightly, “Travel is never a matter about money, but of courage”
8. Go for many retreats
Find a community you love and search for retreats you would love to take. You can go for a Yoga Retreat, writing retreat, meditation retreat, mindfulness retreat or anything.
I went for a 10 days Vipassana meditation retreat and it changed my life.
Another retreat I am planning on taking is the Plum Village Retreat which is located in France.
Let your 20s be full of experimentation and life. I wish I knew what I know now. But better late than never. So I am telling you here.
9. Keep your body fit
A lot of how we feel in our 20s depends on how our body feels.
If you want to feel the strong, exercise. If you want to feel motivated, exercise. If you want to feel sexy, exercise
Feel the joy of keeping yourself fit and healthy.
Now I’m in my late 20s and can’t go a day without moving my body.
I’ve come to know that it’s not because I am motivated that I exercise, but I exercise to get motivated.
If you have been thinking to join the gym, then do it.
If you want to simply start working out at home, then work out at home. There are so many great YouTube channels out there.
I follow Chloe Ting and her website. I also follow Mady Morrison on Youtube and I love her stretching videos.
You don’t have to work out for 1 hour in the morning or evening to start feeling fit. Simply work on creating a habit of moving your body in your 20s.
Stretch for 10 minutes, work out, do dance workouts or go running or try Yoga. Do whatever you think you’ll enjoy, but get that body moving and keep your body fit.
I am so glad I started this habit in my 20s.
10. Take care of your skin
Yes! Whether you are a girl or a guy, take care of your skin in your 20s. You will thank yourself later.
Don’t be lazy to moisturize your skin. Apply face masks occasionally. Don’t forget to put on sunscreen and moisturize your hands, face, feet and body.
Also, drink lots of water and eat fresh food.
Create a good morning and night skincare routine.
Relax and ease into it and give time to your body.
You will love it.
Here is a post I wrote on how it feels to not hurry with my body.
11. Learn new things
If you didn’t care about what other people would think at all, then what is something you would want to try?
What is something that you always wished to do? Do you think it’s too late to learn?
Please don’t let society manipulate you into believing so.
Whenever I feel it’s too late to start something, I remember this quote by James Clear.
Nobody wishes they started late. Almost everybody wishes they started sooner.james clear
I started this blog on my 27th birthday.
I thought I was too late to join this blogging game back then when I decided to start a blog.
But now 2 years in, this blog has grown so much and slowly taking shape into what I wish it to be.
If you’re in your 20s, it’s just the beginning to start new things and really start living.
My mum in her 50s has started her own blog too. It really is never too late to learn new things.
Instead of trying to find love, learn new things would love to do that will make your life enjoyable and interesting in your 20s.
Taking the first step is hard, but it is essential to move past your initial resistance.
Discover what you love. Experiment with new things and strive to live a full life.
You don’t have to be perfect at it. Simply do things to have fun. For other things, strive to improve your skills.
It will go a long way.
12. Build multiple income streams
Start in your 20s and you will have success early. Also, if you have a negative money mindset, fix that first.
Stop thinking that going after money is bad or those who are rich are evil.
Money is a medium and that’s it.
Money is a medium that although might not be the sole reason for happiness, aids us in our happiness and freedom.
Your 20s should be spent learning about financial wellness. It should be spent learning about ways to start your own business, starting a side hustle, saving money and building multiple streams of income.
Please stop thinking 20s is too late. Whatever you decide to do, if you are consistent at it, 5 years is all it takes to build what you want to build.
Read about the habits of millionaires. Learn what they do and how they do it. Watch YouTube videos and work on creating that dream life.
13. Dress nice
Yes! You only get to be in your 20s for a decade, so dress nice. Wear cute outfits. Find your style and make yourself feel good.
Life is too short to wear boring clothes.
Also, take lots of photos. They will be wonderful memories to look back at.
14. Live slowly
The 20s are fast-paced. After we finish high school, life just seems to pass by.
There is a constant rush where we don’t really fully enjoy everything.
But I hope that you spend your 20s slowly.
Learn the art of living slow. Doing things slowly improves the quality of anything we do.
Whether you’re washing the dishes, cleaning your house or going after your goals, doing things slowly brings patience and joy instead of feeling burned out and chaotic.
Go slow in your 20s. Chase your dreams without any hurry knowing that they will come true if you keep consistent with them.
15. Start journaling
Journaling is a habit I am so glad I started in my 20s. It is an act of self-discovery.
Get into the habit of writing morning pages for about 10-15 minutes. Write about anything that comes to your mind. Write how you feel, any thought at comes up, what you did yesterday, what you felt and anything as such.
If you feel directionless and confused in your 20s about what to do with your life, trust me that your heart already knows the way.
You just have to build a connection with it and your heart will guide you.
Journaling is the best way to build your connection with yourself. As you write, you will get to a point where you will be surprised at how much wisdom there is inside you that you didn’t know you had.
We all have it. We just need to connect with it with our little habits. Journaling is a wonderful one.
- If you want to start, here are 21 journal prompts for 21 days and journal prompts for self-discovery by Yung Pueblo
Practice mindfulness meditation
It was in my early 20s that I first came across the word ‘mindfulness’, and even though so many years have passed since then, I am still a novice.
But mindfulness is something that lets me enjoy the little moments and relaxes me and makes me feel joy.
Mindfulness is simply knowing what you’re doing when you’re doing it and being fully attentive to it.
Mindfulness helps us do things slowly and truly savour even simple mundane moments.
In your 20s, instead of finding love, practice mindfulness in your daily life. It will improve the quality of your life 10 fold.
17. Learn about your religion
Most people say that you need to start focusing on religion or spirituality later in life.
But I disagree. I think the earlier we learn about religion and spirituality, the longer we will get to live a life that is in harmony with self and God/Universe/higher power.
Most people have a wrong view of religion. Religion, and it doesn’t matter which religion, is simply teaching about the art of living.
So the earlier we learn about religion, the earlier we will know how to live our life well.
There is no religion that teaches you to be a bad person. Every religion talks about love, peace, compassion and how to be a good human being.
You need not be totally engrossed in religion, but in your 20s at least try to understand the basics of your religion and what its true teachings really are.
Because you were born into the religion, there must be a reason why. Nothing happens accidentally if you were born into it.
18. Get a pet
If you don’t have a pet and have never felt the love of an animal before, you can get one.
They bring so much happiness into our lives and help us stay in a high life state.
If you decide to get a pet, make sure to take care of him/her happily and take full responsibility just as a parent.
19. Build the habit of budgeting
Learn the habit of budgeting and sticking to your budget in your 20s.
Even if you are not earning right now, get into the habit of tracking down all your expenses.
This will go a long way and will be extremely beneficial for you when you do start earning and running your own business and home.
Here are some tips on how to build the habit of budgeting.
20. Be your best version
Lastly, in your 20s instead of finding love and chasing after the wrong love because of too much attachment, learn to let go and be your best version.
Work on being your best version. Work on building things that no one can take away from you, like, your skills, your habits, your character, your integrity, your principles and your yearning for life and continuous self-improvement.
I hope you have fun with these and enjoy your 20s to the fullest. It is all in your hands!
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