Do you find yourself sighing and frustrated with life wanting to scream out, “Why is life so hard!”
You might be blaming on your outer circumstances- your personal life, your finances, your relationships and thinking that until “they” don’t change, your life will remain the same and it will continue to be hard.
But trust me, it is not so.
As long as you think they or these things need to change, nothing you do will make your life easy.
The only way out is in. Life is simply what it is and it has been what it is because of the ways that you have thought and acted.
It is our mental state, our thinking and our beliefs that make life either easy or hard.
I know none of us want a hard life and you might say, “But I am not making it hard”
But trust me, it’s not you, it’s your habits, your thinking and your beliefs that are making it so.
We are trained in overthinking, trained to not trust others easily, trained to think that to get anything worthwhile you have to use tactics and strategy.
So today, after much-observing people and experiences around me and from my own life experience, I want to mention a few things that make life hard.
If you ask, “Why is life so hard?”, then these are the most possible reasons that is making your life hard.
They are quite simple and known truths about life, but we tend to forget them. So let me reiterate in points one by one.
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1. Life is hard when you think life is going to get to you
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If you think that life is hard and complicated, it will precisely be so.
If you think everyone is out to get to you, then people and circumstances will turn up so.
If you think life is full of problems one after another, then indeed there will be more problems coming one after another for you.
Whatever you think and believe to be true will make life exactly so.
The outer life only mirrors your innermost thoughts and beliefs.
If you become careful the moment you enjoy and are happy and think, “I shouldn’t be so happy. Something bad might occur”, then this negative belief and habit will attract the bad and negative for you, or you will see even ordinary simple things in a negative light.
On the other hand, if you think Life is always working out for you, if you believe that there are only lessons to learn and things to practice in life, then life will be so much easier for you.
2. Life is hard when you don’t trust people
As a kid, we have been taught to not trust people and strangers easily, and at that age, this was probably the right thing to do.
But as adults, we need to let go of the idea that people are not trustworthy.
If you keep on doubting everyone’s intentions and think they might have some negative intentions behind what they are doing all the time, then it causes you more harm than anyone else.
When you don’t trust people, you let doubt reside in your heart and with doubt, comes worry, stress and overthinking.
All of this for no reason but just because you don’t trust someone enough.
Yes, some people are not trustworthy. But generally, MOST people are.
Even if they happen to break your trust, it’s not you, it’s them.
You opened your heart to them and you trusted them fully. That was your heart that allowed you to do so.
If they break it, it is up to them and not you.
Don’t let it stop you from trusting people and building unnecessary doubt and boundaries with people.
In an age when we’re already growing isolated, not trusting people and holding boundaries with everyone will only make us more isolated and alone, and this makes life hard.
3. Life is hard when you are consumed by your past
What happened in the past is past.
The most precious moment is right now and change begins from this moment on.
By always being consumed by your past, resenting what you did or what someone did to you, you are giving the past more power than it deserves.
No matter what, the present is more powerful than the past, but you have to choose to make it powerful.
Don’t let your mind fool you by running backwards.
Accept what has happened in the past and learn the lessons from it to make a beautiful future.
The present is made up of all the past actions that you did until now.
But the future is in your hands. All the actions that you choose to do now, and all the thoughts you are willing to think now are what will make up your future.
What you choose to do now and how you choose to live now is what will make your future.
Choose to let go. Choose strength. Choose forgiveness. Choose growth and allow yourself to heal and grow and live a wonderful life.
4. Life is hard when you’re not invested in your personal growth
I truly believe that we are born here to become better and polish ourselves and this should continue till the time we die.
All of life is a practice in becoming a better human being.
This life is a gymnasium, the grandest of universities one could ever be in and it is not by chance that you got admitted into it.
We are here by our merit.
You may feel that you are doing very poorly in this University of Life, but that’s because you have not invested in your growth and learning.
Be a good student of life, and your life will change and cease to be difficult.
Because you are born, you have been given a chance to be better.
It does not matter where you were born, the circumstances in which you were born or who were your parents.
As long as you are alive, you have the opportunity to grow and do anything possible.
So have goals. Have determination and discipline.
But when you don’t grow and when you don’t actively invest in improving yourself, life will be hard.
True joy and happiness in life come from growing and moving forward.
Use every struggle as a stepping stone. Allow the mud to make the lotus of your heart bloom. Don’t let it dirty your spirit.
You are meant to grow and improve.
5. Life is hard when you’re only doing the easy stuff
As human beings, we are inclined to stay away from danger and uncertainty. It is what keeps us away from fire or it is why we always look at both directions while crossing the road.
It is also what has helped the human race to grow and evolve so drastically as we learned how to make fire, learned how to make food, build buildings and stay away from the adversities of nature.
We want things as easy as possible. All of the discoveries in science and technology are all so as to help us make the difficult easy.
But when we’re only tempted to do the easy stuff, life becomes hard.
As Seneca says, “It’s not because things are difficult, that we do not dare. It is because we do not dare, that things are difficult.
When we’re not challenging ourselves, when we’re only doing the things we already know, life becomes boring.
And a boring life eventually becomes a hard life.
We need to learn to go outside our comfort zone. Do things that require your courage, ambition, and determination. We work hard on our goals and dare to dream and believe.
When we start doing the hard stuff, that’s where growth happens and life starts to become simple, and easy and you will have no time for things that are not meaningful for you.
P.S 30 Things to learn when you’re bored
6. Life is hard when you don’t give yourself enough self-love
Imagine staying in a home with someone who always blames you, who thinks you’re not good enough no matter what you do, who will always scold you and say bad things about you.
Would you want to stay close to this person?
But the same way, imagine you’re living with someone who is kind, and who makes you see the lessons in the mistakes you made.
This person will encourage will when you’re down and who will speak positive things to you. She will give you support and understanding and ask you to love yourself.
Who would you want to live with?
You would obviously want to live with a kinder person.
And you would want to be away from the person who criticizes and blames you for everything. You would have a bad relationship with the person and you would never want to come home.
Yet when it comes to ourselves, we are exactly like the person with whom we don’t want to be to ourselves. We blame ourselves for our past. We scold ourselves and tell ourselves that we’re no good.
And we live with ourselves all along.
How wouldn’t that make our life feel hard?
Without self-love and self-compassion, you won’t be able to live this life to your fullest.
You need to understand yourself. You need to be your own best friend. Only then you will begin to truly change your life and life will move in your favour you.
7. Life is hard when you spend too much of your energy maintaining your self-image
If you know who you are and how you are and are living true to yourself, you won’t have the need to maintain your self-image so much.
Why should you care so much about what someone else thinks of you?
People have opinions about each and everything. That’s what most people do to pass their time because they’re bored and have nothing to do.
Trying to please people whom you don’t even like in order to be liked by them is such a waste of time.
Just be who you are and you will attract the right kind of people who will know your soul and who can be your true friend.
I see many people spend so much energy on maintaining their self-image in front of people they think are important. For this, they will strategies, use tactics, pull out a different face in front of them and use so much of their mental energy.
But in the grand scheme of things, it’s of no use.
Life will be hard if you try to please everyone. You will have to lie and go against who you are.
Live your life true to you and don’t be swayed away by other people’s perception of you.
Let them be wrong. There is no need to prove it. Rejoice in your own knowing of who you are.
Be kind to people genuinely and there will be no need to please and no need to use any strategy.
Life is simple if you make it to be.
8. Life is hard when you don’t accept things as they are
The reason why we make life so hard is because we don’t accept what life gives to us.
We have an ideal in our head and when it doesn’t match the reality, we feel frustrated and angry.
We think we’re angry at life, but what we’re really angry at is our non-acceptance.
We can’t accept things as they are and we do this again and again and again.
You can see it for yourself.
The next time you’re angry or frustrated, ask yourself, “What is it that I am refusing to accept that it is making me angry?”
Non-acceptance makes life hard, really hard.
Stop attaching your happiness to things that you would want in your head, and instead, see joy and happiness in the present moment.
Look at each moment as it is and accept everything that each moment offers you.
Make peace with the present accepting, surrendering and trusting what is given to you and knowing that whatever happens, happens for your highest good.
Life won’t be hard if you live that way.
9. Life is hard when you want everything to be perfect
If you think you’re a perfectionist and that it’s a good thing, I want to tell you that it’s not.
Being a perfectionist will make you always think that you’re not good enough or not good enough at something.
It will stop you from trying because you will think what’s the use if you’re not going to be the best at it?
But you must know that practice makes perfect and that you ARE allowed to do things just to explore, to see if you love it, to see if you can be any good, to see the mess of it and still enjoy the process.
Being a perfectionist won’t allow you to do that.
You will always fret and complain and sulk and think that whatever you create is not good enough. And that you’re not good enough. And this makes life hard.
Of course, setting a high bar and standard for yourself is a good thing, but not at the cost of not even trying and not appreciating yourself and your hardwork.
If you have done your part and you did the best you could, that is the fruit in itself.
P.S Why Perfectionism is not a virtue to keep
10. Life is hard when you don’t work on your relationships
A large part of our happiness comes from our relationships.
When we are happy in our relationships, no matter what happens in our lives, with the support of our loved ones, we gain strength.
When our relationship is thriving, we thrive too.
As human beings, we are rooted in love and it is the essence of our being.
But relationships need work and understanding.
First of all, for any relationship to thrive, both partners need to grow and embrace the ups and downs.
When you stop putting effort into your relationships and take it for granted, life becomes hard.
When you only start looking at things from your point of view and don’t care about your partner’s feelings, distance grows if it is not resolved.
Work on your relationships. Learn to communicate and strive to clear out any misunderstandings when they arise.
Maintaining relationships is also not very hard. You just need to value each other and take care of each other’s heart turn by turn.
If you can do this, life will be so much easier with love by your side.
11. Life is hard when you don’t tell the truth
I have seen many people lie out of habit. Even when there is absolutely no need to, they lie.
People lie for many reasons-
- to cover up a lie
- cover up the truth
- To get things done by someone
- To gain something
- To be liked
- In order to twist things
And many more reasons.
I have seen people becoming happy and rejoicing when they tell a lie and when people buy into it, but that’s foolishness.
You’re not fooling anyone, but yourself.
You might think they won’t know, but the most important thing to be feared is that YOU know.
Deep inside you always know that it is wrong to lie, so it stays in your subconscious and a lie, no matter how small corrupts your spirit.
But the more you lie, the more you become farther from your true self.
The more you lie, the more you have to worry about it because you then have to constantly remember what story you made up.
I too have experienced it. For no reason, I had to worry and stress out because of a lie I told.
Now I have decided to never bring myself to tell a lie and never to do things that will force me to tell a lie.
If you’re truthful, you will be stress-free and things won’t bother you and that makes life so much easier.
12. Life is hard when you’re a pessimist
Nobody likes to call themselves a pessimist, but we need to assess ourselves, observe our thoughts and beliefs and see with what light we are looking at life.
The glass can be half empty and half full and both can be true.
But the glass is a glass and the water is the water. So is life.
How you view the glass becomes your truth about life.
If you’re always so certain life will never work out for you and want others to change rather than being willing to change, then you’re a pessimist.
If you see faults in others easily and you only talk about other people and gossip fills a large part of your day, then you’re a pessimist.
If you fail to look at the bright side of things and always expect the worst, then you’re a pessimist.
But know that there is no fault in being a pessimist.
When we’re unaware of our true selves and don’t know how to live, we all inevitably become pessimists. And this is why so many of us are living hard lives.
To cure this you need to gain inspiration, nurture your spirit and treat your mind as a sacred garden and not a dustbin where you pour anything and everything.
Take care of your thoughts and life will stop being hard.
13. Life is hard when you’re not living true to you
Lastly, I’d say that life is hard when you’re not living true to yourself.
When you’re not fully realising your potential and when you’re not giving your 100% in life to doing what you’re here to do, life becomes painful and hard.
We’re born here to fulfil our unique capabilities and talents.
For me, this would be to write being true to myself. For you, it would be to make music, make paintings, become a good homemaker, an honest businessman, a wonderful parent or anything.
When we do what we’re here to do and do it fully and strive to express ourselves no matter what setbacks we face, life even though difficulties may occur, won’t be that hard anymore.
You will find joy in struggle and little things in life won’t bother you anymore.
Life is not hard. Life is a joy and to be alive to experience this life and walk in this Planet expressing our truest self is the highest privilege that we have.
Let us find joy in it and return home to our true selves.
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Thanks for sharing! Very helpful.