So what is the ‘soft life’ that we have been hearing much about?
This generation of women are more mindful, more conscious and more attuned to who we truly want to be and how we want to live our lives.
The girl boss generation is over. The hustle culture is so last decade.
Enter: The soft life era.
Now, more women are realizing that we don’t want to be a girl boss anymore. That we no longer want to hustle.
What we crave now is softness
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We want to stop and smell the flowers. To appreciate a warm cup of tea with our loved ones. To enjoy the calmness of slow mornings, tend to our skin and prioritise our peace and health.
As one woman puts it: “I don’t want to be a girl boss, I don’t want to hustle, I simply want to live my life slowly and lay in a bed of moss with my lover and enjoy the rest of my existence, reading books and creating art and loving the people in my life.”
Another says, “If you’re trying to live a soft life, I don’t think you’re lazy. I think you’ve been living in your masculine energy for so long, and you’ve been sold a lie about how a woman can and should do what men do, and it’s making you unhappy, depressed, and literally sick.”
I agree with this.
I never liked it when people used to say, “she’s such a man,” as if being a man was the ultimate ideal of what a human should be.
But also, let’s be clear, living a soft life doesn’t mean that you quit your job and simply live your days as you wish.
I know not everybody has that luxury.
But we can all create a soft life in little ways by nurturing ourselves and living gently.
And today, I wish to share how to do exactly that.
What is a soft girl era?
The soft girl era is an era of choosing peace over pressure, slowness over hurry, and grace over grind.
It’s the era of finally saying to yourself, “I don’t always have to be tough. I don’t always have to be achieving. I don’t always have to be on the go.”
It’s when you stop proving your worth to anyone.
You release the need to earn your right to exist, and instead allow yourself to simply be.
A soft life is about coming home to our femininity.
It’s about romanticising the everyday and releasing the compulsion to always be productive and accomplish something.
How To Enter your Soft Life era
1. Embrace slowness
If you want to step into your soft girl era, you have to say goodbye to the days of rushing and always being in a hurry.
Allow yourself to slow down.
Let things take the time they take instead of always wanting everything fast.
If the traffic is moving too slowly, let it. You hurrying won’t make it move faster.
If the coffee machine is taking time to make you a coffee, let it.
In the morning, when you go to work, practice not rushing.
Try waking up a little earlier if you want, so you don’t have to move through your mornings in panic.
When you slow down your pace, you will notice something beautiful happens- your anxiety begins to ease.
Anxiety is the heavy coat you wear without you knowing, when you are always rushing.
But when you choose to intentionally slow down, this coat automatically slips off and falls to the floor.
Suddenly, you feel lighter, and the burden eases.
So in the mornings, gift yourself some time just for you.
Sip your tea slowly. Journal your heart out.
Sit with soothing meditation music.
Breathe. Simply be.
2. Stop Working Too Hard
We’ve been taught by productivity gurus and hustle coaches that the only way to a life worth living is to always work hard, schedule our time endlessly, and only give our energy to things that produce results or make us money.
We take inspiration from burnt-out overachievers—and then wonder why our own lives still feel so heavy and meaningless.
But is life only about making money and getting results?
Isn’t life also about laughing with friends until our stomachs hurt? Cooking a simple meal for ourselves and our loved ones? Cleaning and decorating the home just because it feels good?
If we tie and divide all our everyday activities into “superior” and “inferior” based on what they give back to us, then we rob ourselves of the joy of ordinary life.
A soft life falls in love with the ordinary and finds the extraordinary in it.
It’s about working when work is required, but also allowing yourself to rest and enjoy when you can.
It’s about creating a work-life balance that not only applauds constant accomplishments, but also celebrates the quieter victories- presence, peace, good relationships and contentment.
A soft life is knowing that you are enough, whether you achieve anything or not.
It’s being content with how much you can do, without trying to grind your way through everything.
3. Be mindful of your reactions
A soft life begins when we learn to soften our reactions.
Observe yourself in your daily life?
How do you react when things don’t go your way?
When people don’t act the way you expect them to?
When the world doesn’t seem to understand you?
Every situation is powerless without your reaction.
How you react is what makes it heavy or light, big or small.
Softness doesn’t mean ignoring what hurts you, but it does mean pausing before you react.
It’s okay to slip up sometimes.
It’s certainly not easy to change our reactions overnight, but what matters is being aware.
You are not your initial reaction, but your mindfulness that follows it.
Do you choose to pause? Do you choose to assess whether how you are reacting is right or wrong?
Ask yourself, “How can I respond instead of reacting?”
“Is this the only way to react? Or is there a gentler or softer way?”
4. Practice gracefulness
Gracefulness is not only of the body, but also of the mind.
To enter your soft girl era, you have to come in contact with gracefulness.
Make gracefulness a way of life.
And this is what I mean by this:
- Moving gently through the world instead of rushing and hurrying
- Being mindful of your doing- and doing things, whether walking, sitting, bathing, cooking, talking, keeping things, throwing things, etc, all gracefully. (It’s an everyday practice)
- Smiling through life. A gentle smile on your lips for no reason from time to time also eases our mind and body.
- Showing grace to ourselves for our mistakes
- Showing grace to others, maybe our friends, partners, colleagues or anyone for their mistakes.
- Not being harsh to the world.
- Living in thankfulness.
These are just some ways to practice gracefulness and being soft in life.
5. Enjoy self-care
Everything requires maintenance to function properly.
Our body and soul need maintenance, too.
But as we grow up, too often we forget that we even exist for ourselves and start living for others.
Only when we value something do we take care of it.
We value our cars, so we send them for maintenance.
We value our homes, so we clean and maintain them.
But we forget to value ourselves, our body, which is the most precious gift we have received, until we get sick or burned out and are forced to come back and pay attention.
Self-care isn’t an indulgence. It’s the maintenance of your soul.
Softness begins with how you care for yourself daily.
How do you practice self-care?
- Light a candle
- Take long baths
- Nourish your skin
- Write in your journal (Here are 10 ways to start a journal entry)
- Move your body in ways that feel good.
- Create space for a hobby that brings you joy.
Tell yourself, I am worth tending to.
6. Embrace your femininity
As women, society has quietly fed us the idea that to be valuable, we must compete with men, match their strength, and prove that we can do everything they do.
In that process, many of us have unconsciously shed parts of our femininity and taken on more masculine roles and energy.
I cannot tell you how much of this is common among the women I know.
We don’t realise, but deep inside this makes us feel burdened, heavy and unsatisfied.
In my earlier relationship, I unknowingly became “the man” in the relationship.
Some people did point it out to me, but I dismissed it, thinking they were wrong.
Looking back now, I see the truth.
I was the one booking tickets, planning vacations, trying to keep track of his career path, buying things for him, planning dates, and asking for help when needed. I was doing everything.
Not that I minded any of it.
My love language is acts of service, but I believe that we’ve grown so used to doing everything on our own that we forget we don’t always have to.
This is where feminine energy comes in.
Feminine energy teaches us that it’s okay to soften. It’s okay to receive. It’s okay to step back and allow others to show up for us.
The soft girl era is deeply connected with this energy-the part of you that is receptive, creative, intuitive, and gentle.
To embrace a soft life, lean into what makes you feel feminine- whether it’s the way you dress, the way you decorate your space, or the way you nurture relationships.
7. Wear nice clothes
How you dress has a powerful effect on how you feel inside.
Clothes don’t just cover our bodies; they also shape our energy.
When we wear nice clothes, it shifts how we feel about ourselves and sometimes also the world.
It makes us hold ourselves differently. You carry a quiet confidence when you dress well.
Wear clothes that make you feel elegant, feminine, graceful, or simply comfortable in your own skin.
Maybe it’s a flowing dress, your favorite jewellery, or a cozy sweater that hugs you softly.
And remember, it’s not just about dressing up when you step out.
How you dress at home matters just as much.
Invest in yourself with soft pyjamas, beautiful sleepwear, well-fitting undergarments, and workout clothes that make you feel good.
You live with yourself most of the time at home.
Why not feel beautiful in your own company?
Stop dressing like a homeless person when you’re at home. You deserve better than that.
You deserve to feel good even in the spaces where no one else sees you.
You see you. You feel you. And this matters more.
Dressing with intention is a way of affirming to yourself: I deserve to feel good in my body, every single day.
8. Surround yourself with beauty
Little gestures that add beauty to everyday life can change your world.
- Buy yourself a nice vase
- A pretty cup or mug that makes your tea or coffee feel special.
- Add fresh flowers to that vase every week.
- A cosy blanket
- A small bookshelf or corner with your favourite reads.
- Fairy lights
- Soft, breathable bedsheets that make rest feel like luxury.
- Clean space
- Tidy home
- Scented candles or incense that make your space smell calm.
- Good music
When your surroundings reflect peace, your spirit follows.
9. Smile more
Smile not as a result but as a cause.
A gentle smile or even a half smile has a soft power to melt tension, both in your own heart and in the people around you.
Keep a half smile on your face from time to time.
Smile at the little things—the sunlight peeking through your window, the warmth of your tea, the sound of laughter.
Smiling is a reminder that you can feel joy at any moment, and you need not depend on anyone.
10. Be in tune with your emotions
A soft woman does not sweep her emotions and feelings under the rug.
She does not allow strength to be her only core identity.
Instead, she allows all feelings to pass through her gently.
She knows that they are all her guests and none of them are permanent ones.
They arrive, they stay for a while, and eventually, they leave.
They are all passing guests, and so she lets them all move through her- whether the good or bad, the heavy or the light.
She treats them all equally because she knows that those guests do not define her.
They are simply her guest passing through the hallway of her heart.
A soft woman names her feelings instead of silencing them.
She journals, she prays, she meditates, she cries when heavy and laughs wholeheartedly.
She tells the truth of her feelings to herself and to others.
Softness is emotional honesty.
To be soft is to be emotionally present with yourself, without shame or fear.
11. Protect your peace
Not everyone deserves access to you and your softness.
- Protect it. Set boundaries.
- Walk away from people or situations that drain you.
Anything that costs you your peace of mind or your sleep at night is too expensive.
Be observant about what things and people are bringing you joy and who are draining it.
Peace is a luxury, and in your soft girl era, you get to prioritize it.
12. Nurture your inner child
A soft life is one where you are childlike, but not childish.
To be childlike is to reconnect with joy, wonder, creativity and play.
Ask yourself: How much time do I give to joy, wonder, and play in my week?
If the answer is “barely any,” it may be time to welcome them back into your days, for they are little saviours that protect life from being dull and meaningless.
- Dance around your room.
- Paint without worrying if it’s perfect.
- Create something.
- Try a new hobby. (Here are 40+ Hobby Ideas for adults)
- Stop being so time-bound. Practice timelessness now and then.
- Play.
- Dream.
When you nurture your inner child, you remind yourself that joy is not childish, it’s sacred, and that being childlike is different from being childish.
13. Be more grateful
A grateful heart is a soft heart.
If you are grateful for the little things- the comfort of home, the kindness of a stranger, the beauty of a sunset, the protection of reaching home safely, etc, then it means that you have not let the world harden you yet.
Gratitude shifts everything.
And it is as much a practice, and slowly it becomes second nature, just like for many of us, complaining over every little thing has become second nature.
In your day, start noticing all the things you can be thankful for and say thank you.
You can start by writing down the 3 best things that happened in your day every night before going to bed.
You can write it down, speak it aloud, or whisper it in your prayers.
Gratitude transforms ordinary days into extraordinary ones.
When you start noticing the little things, you realise that softness has been here all along.
Final thoughts on entering the soft life era
Softness isn’t lost. It is always within you.
It is only waiting for you to choose it and manifest it in little ways.
To enter your soft life, you have to come in touch with your gentle self, the one who feels, the grateful one, the one who moves through life as if dancing.
You carry yourself through life with grace, mindfulness and being full of love.
If people cut open your heart, all they would find is love and softness.
It’s time to stop rushing and instead slow down to actually feel your days and add beauty to them.
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