How to set a routine without 'attachment'

Our everyday routine helps us move along with our intention set for the day. But as much as routine helps us, it is also important that we set a routine without ‘attachment’ if we are to go forward in our long journey to improvement and growth.

What it means to be attached to a routine

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I never knew that we can have attachment with a routine too. But now I know that one can get attached to anything! But with what do we get attached with?

Our attachment is with the ‘want’ to be ideal. This may be being attached to the idea of an ideal relationship, ideal lover or an ideal day.

As for me, it seems my attachment with my routine was with the want to have an ideal day. My attachment to having a day where my routine was followed exactly as I had planned.

Until a few weeks back I made a routine for how I specifically ‘wanted’ to spend my day in a planner. However, now I have stopped doing so. I no longer write down how I specifically want to spend my day. Now I just write down what I would like to do in my day.

I think there lays the difference- between liking and wanting. ‘Want’ brings in the attachment. And like all attachments, it brings in expectations and comparisons.

What I realized about my attachment

It took me sometime but I realised that-

-I was getting little agitated if my day did not go as planned.

-I would feel agitated if something cropped up in the middle that would disrupt my routine.

-I had been doing ‘other’ things in a hurry.

-I had less time for my loved ones.

– I was enjoying my leisure time but with some guilt feeling.

I realised I wasn’t living in the present moment which requires accepting the things that each day brought with it.

Now I am trying to change my relationship with routine and now I have realised two things-

I have now accepted that there will hardly be a day which can go by ‘as planned’ (even in lockdown) and that it is okay!
From now every day will be an ideal day as long as I am not being lazy. I no longer focus on the ideal way of spending my day anymore.

So here are some things I am putting into practice while setting my daily routine without being attached to having a ‘perfect day’.

How to set a daily routine without attachment

1. Set a mission for the day

Each day when we wake up we are magically filled with 24 hours. While we do not keep any attachment to our idea of our ideal day, it is still important that we do know how we would like to spend our day.

What one thing or two things or three things that we would at least like to do in our day. That will be your mission for the day.

You might start by setting just one mission. It can be to exercise for 20 minutes every day or to study for at least one hour.

Your mission can be anything for which your present self will feel satisfied and your future self will thank you for. Do this Mission for the day first thing in the morning.

2. Begin to take everything as important

We have a habit of giving a ranking to our daily tasks thinking a certain thing to do is more important than the other small things.

So we think that a task which we have set as our mission requires more of our attention and the other almost none.

Hence when we do the things which we consider as less significant we think we are wasting our time.

It was the reason I was getting agitated when something came up in between my routine. I felt that the insignificant things were taking up my time.

Now I realise that while one task might be more important than the other, in reality ‘everything is important’.

I tell myself, ‘going to get groceries is important because without it we wouldn’t have anything to eat and fulfil our daily needs’

‘washing the dishes is important because it gives respect to the food we ate and I’m also helping my mum’

‘cleaning my room is important because staying in a clean and tidy room also brightens up my mood’

‘spending time with our loved ones is important because, in the end, that is the most important thing that counts.’

So while you set out to fulfil your mission for the day, also give equal importance to the other things as well and give yourself credit for doing everything wonderfully.

3. Give gratitude for everything you do and everything that comes

With the understanding that ‘everything is important’ enjoy everything you do and everything that comes your way.

Each day is unique. There will be many things that will come your way which might disrupt your flow. Don’t mind them at all.

Try to give your attention to everything you do no matter how small a task.

Think about the importance of the thing as you do it. (be it anything whether taking a shower, talking to your friend who called you unexpectedly, cooking food or anything)

This is how you bring mindfulness with thankfulness into your life.

Bring greater enjoyment as you feel that everything is important and worthy of gratitude.

So don’t think that the small tasks are wasting your time.

Just enjoy taking your shower, talking to your friend, cooking your food, going to get groceries, cleaning your room and everything else.

All of these small tasks form a big part of your daily routine. Simply give thanks to it. Give thanks for your good health, for your hands, legs, eyes which makes it able for you to do all things with ease.

4. Give no place for guilt feeling

Sometimes when our day doesn’t go as planned or if we don’t do the thing which we said we would, it makes us lose our enthusiasm.

We tend to feel that we can’t do it. That is why for the majority of us, our New Year resolutions fail. But sticking to our resolutions doesn’t work that way.

If we could cultivate a good habit just in one go then it wouldn’t require our resolution at all.

It is when we try and try that we are able to cultivate them and that is what tests our resolve. We must keep trying to do the things we would like to do in our day until we can do them all.

And even if you couldn’t because of any reason, give no place for guilt feeling. Guilt does nothing good.

Instead of guilt replace it with more determination and self-love next time.

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Hello, I'm Vishaka!

How to set a routine without ‘attachment’

What it means to be attached to a routine

What I realized about my attachment