I’ve been enjoying my time at home- being close to my mother, my pets and my loved ones.
We’ve recently moved into our new home after demolishing and rebuilding our old ancestral house, which had fallen into a pretty bad condition over the years.
To tell you how bad it was, in monsoons, the water would seep in from outside, and we would have a hard time clearing it out.
One time, water had flooded inside our kitchen and dining room, and we couldn’t do anything about it because no matter how much we tried to clear it out, water would seep in again because of the continuous rain, so my mother gave up trying altogether.
My mother would complain of her feet getting wet and her feet aching from the cold dampness.
Back then, we weren’t in the best financial condition.
I was still studying, not yet earning, and my mother was teaching at a small private primary school in our neighbourhood.
I didn’t know what I could do, but I didn’t want her feet to get wet, so I bought her a pair of gumboots, that is known here for being worn by tea garden workers and labourers.
It was a purple coloured Gumboots, and when I gave them to her, my mother couldn’t stop laughing and treated it like a joke.
But I was serious about it.
I wanted her to wear it while she walked in the kitchen so her foot would remain dry.
She never wore them, though, and I eventually had to return them.
But despite the damp walls, leaky roof, and the hard time during the rainy season, I loved our old house, for it was an old cottage-style home.
It was an old house. My mom says it was more than 50 years old, built by my grandfather.
Earlier, our entire family would live together starting from our family, my grandparents, my father’s elder brother’s family and sometimes also my father’s two sisters.
Over the years, they all moved out and built their own homes, leaving just us with my grandmother.
After living in an old house for more than 30 years and after a lot of here and there with the chaos of construction, this homecoming finally feels relaxed because the house is finally complete.
We finally feel settled in this new space.
The home isn’t fully decorated yet, but my mother has already filled our home with so many plants.
I am excited to decorate my home slowly, and of course, I’m taking the help of Pinterest.
As for today’s newsletter, I simply want to share some of the best things and little thoughts I had from this past week in a random order.
1. Best Highlight – Afternoon Lunches
Table of Contents
One of the best highlights of this past week has been my afternoon lunches, which I have been enjoying very much.
As you know, I’ve been doing a refresher course at my university, about a 30-minute Scooty ride from home.
For lunches, initially I thought I would sometimes have at my friend Dikcha’s place, who lives close to the campus with her mother or sometimes at the canteen or carry a tiffin.
But on the very first day, when I went to lunch at Dikcha’s place, her mother strictly asked me to have my lunch there without any hesitation, or else she would be upset with me.
So I simply said yes.
Now I go there daily, shamelessly and happily. Lol.
Honestly, I too feel that they are my people, and feel a stronger, more familiar bond with them than many of my relatives.
Aunty makes the kind of homely food that warms both heart and stomach—always two or three side dishes with rice, dal or curry, and never without a bit of achaar.
I love our mothers’ gestures and the kindness and motherly affection they give so freely.
This is me with aunty and our other friend Lyangmit, who lives near them too.
In the evenings, they call me again for tea and conversation. That’s how we wind down, and I always return home feeling refreshed after a long day.
2. Ichigo Ichi – One Time, One Encounter
I came across this Japanese phrase: Ichigo Ichi — “One time, one encounter.”
It’s a reminder that even the most ordinary moments are unique.
And isn’t it so true?
Not a single moment in life, no matter how monotonous we may feel life may be, is unrepeatable.
Every single moment is unique, even if it seems ordinary.
This evening, I had tea with my mother and our neighbour.
I bought Samosa and Jalebi to accompany our tea.
And even though we’ve drunk tea and eaten samosa so many times, this particular evening with its laughter, stories, weather and everything along with it will never happen in the same way.
Ichigo Ichi is telling ourselves, “This is the only time this will ever happen. Let me feel it fully.”
3. Priti Didi’s Family
At home, to help my mother, Priti didi (sister) comes to help with housework.
In India, we never call people by their names; we call them by our relationship to them.
Even though we have no blood relationship to her, she feels like a sister to us.
Her husband, whom my mother calls bhai (brother), has helped us more than our own family.
While our house was under construction and my mother had to live elsewhere, there was no one to watch over the place.
Without being asked, Priti Didi’s husband volunteered to stay in a small makeshift room on-site for the entire duration of the build.
When my mother later offered to give back monetarily for his time and effort, he refused to take any payment
They have a 6-year-old son named Miguer, and I don’t know why I feel such tender affection towards him.
Recently, Priti didi told my mother that Miguer really wanted to join karate class at school because all his friends were joining, and only he felt left out.
They hadn’t yet joined him because the fee was more than they could afford. We offered to sponsor it, and it felt good to help.
I notice Priti Didi and her husband, and I find myself admiring their bond.
I love how she speaks about him in little, affectionate ways—slipping his name into stories, and how he too speaks of her.
When they’re together, they are always laughing and making us laugh.
Their little son laughs along, and it strikes me how wonderfully happy and warm their home is, even if they might not have everything in material terms.
It makes me wonder what it must be like to grow up in a home where your parents are in love, where they truly enjoy each other’s company.
Their son gets to grow up surrounded by love, something I didn’t see as a child.
Growing up, I never saw one good example of how a husband and wife’s relationship should be.
For a long time, until I reached my 20s, I never even knew that parents should be in love with each other.
I just thought parents stayed together simply because that’s how it was.
But watching Priti didi and her husband makes me happy for their son to be growing up in a loving household, and I get curious about how it must feel as a child to live in such a family.
I may not have experienced this as a child, but it makes me aware of how I want my own family to be.
I dream of a home where my child will see their parents laughing together, respecting one another, and enjoying each other’s presence.
I would want my child to think, “Wow, Dad really loves Mom!” and “Wow, Mom really loves Dad too!.”
This is the dream.
And if not this, then nothing.
4. Be Aware of Your Own Bullshit
You cannot become good until you realise how bad you are.
To realise how good you are, you have to first realise how bad you are.
You have to first be aware of your own bullshit.
You have to come face to face with your own contributions to making your life miserable.
If you think that you are always right, if you think you are always good, and all the fixing needs to be done by them or by the rest of the world, then there can be no improvement.
Growth begins when you admit your own role in the mess.
But here’s also another thing—self-awareness isn’t about self-punishment.
When you notice your flaws, meet them with kindness, not criticism.
Don’t beat yourself up when you see your bullshit.
Instead, notice it, be mindful and don’t take it personally.
Being mindful of how bad you are is the first step towards change and goodness.
You’re inherently good. Goodness is your true nature.
5. Stripping Away Status
Everyone talks about kindness, dignity, and compassion, but when it comes to really living it, there are really few people who walk the talk.
When scrolling through Instagram and reading some comments, I see so many people comment such mean and rude things to strangers and get into a useless fight over each other’s perspectives.
I see everywhere how people are always relating to each other in terms of their occupation, rank, status or post they hold.
Even those who speak on equality and humanity at seminars sometimes forget about it when it comes to practising in daily life.
When I notice myself, I too catch myself at times with feelings of inferiority and superiority depending on who I’m with.
But then I quickly catch this ego in me and make an effort to strip away the labels—job, status, rank—and try to relate to each person as simply a normal human being and see them for who they are as a person.
This makes me not feel superior or even inferior, no matter who I am engaging with and not let my worth be attached to worldly statuses.
I credit this to my mother, and it is from her actions that I don’t set myself apart from anyone and try to treat all people equally.
But this is also a growing virtue, and we must keep catching ourselves and be mindful of our feelings of superiority and inferiority in our daily interactions.
It would be a wonderful world where people respected each other without knowing their qualifications, title or position.
What a just society it would be if we all related to each other stripping bare our rank, status and hierarchy and simply related to each other as human beings.
It’s an ideal, but it could start from you and me by being face to face with our own ego’s version of Us Vs. Them mentality and feelings of Superiority and inferiority.
6. Prayers for the World
Lastly, Israel and Gaza are on my mind.
I act like an ignorant because it hurts me to watch the news. But I really cannot understand how one part of the world is dying and starving out of institutionalised violence and hunger, and nobody is able to do anything much about it.
And we, the rest of us, are all pretty much just living our lives as if nothing is going wrong in the world, as if a genocide is not happening, as if millions of children are not dying.
It makes me think how it must have been the same when World War II happened, and we’re kind of living the same.
I really cannot understand how a country and race that went through the same horror could inflict the same horror upon another.
It’s true that they, too, have been deeply hurt and deeply scared, but it is in no way justifiable to not let this cycle end.
I just pray for the world.
Let us keep the entire Earth in our prayers, and especially keep the world leaders in our prayers. Let us pray for their wisdom and for compassion to rise in their hearts. They are the world changers, and we really need world leaders who are kind, compassionate and true leaders.
These were just some thoughts from my week.
Let’s keep the light alive in our hearts, wherever we are.
xx
P.S This was a part from my Mindful Monday Newsletter. To receive my newsletter directly to your inbox, subscribe below. It would be wonderful to have you ❤️
Journal Prompt of the Week
- How am I contributing to the quality of my own life—both positively and negatively?”
- Where might I be unknowingly making my life harder, and how can I shift that?
Blog Post of the Week
Quote of the Week
One from Others
“Keep Some Room In Your Heart For The Unimaginable”
– Mary Oliver
One from me
Simply awareness is progress too.
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