How to respect yourself and also show it?
All of us without exception want to be loved and respected for who we are, no matter what our position in society. We all want to be heard and be treated fairly and with dignity.
But most often when it comes to ourselves, we treat our own opinions, values, needs and our wishes as the last thinking we can compromise with ourselves.
But if we keep on lowering our standards, and our expectations from life and relationships, we are also neglecting our self-respect and in turn neglecting our happiness.
How you love (and respect) yourself is how you teach others to love (and respect) you.
How much you love yourself is proportionate to how much you respect yourself.
But it doesn’t matter if all your life you have been poor with respecting your own self. So many of us don’t know how to love our own selves.
It doesn’t matter if all your life you have been downplaying your emotions and your need to fit into other people’s needs just to feel loved and in order to do your part.
You can always re-do your life at any stage and start respecting yourself and start showing it.
It will leave you feeling more confident, more brave and more at peace with yourself.
Today in this post I share 20 ways to start respecting yourself.
But first, let me share what self-respect really means.
What does it mean to respect yourself?
Table of Contents
To respect yourself means that you love yourself enough to set a standard for yourself about what you will tolerate and what you absolutely won’t.
It also means that you love yourself enough to treat yourself with care and affection just like you would to a friend who is in need.
Self-respect means that you treat yourself highly and you will no longer accommodate what is trying to put you down and it also includes your own negative habits, limiting thought patterns and beliefs.
You cut them all off just like a snake shedding its skin in the process of loving and respecting yourself more.
Self-respect is mandatory and no one should compromise with it.
What self-respect looks like?
I would say self-respect looks like the following
- You confident in yourself
- You valuing yourself
- You knowing your worth
- You not compromising with what you want out of your life
- You not compromising on what you want out of your relationship
- You growing in your determination
- You knowing you deserve the best
- You valuing your time
- You honouring your heart
- You following your dreams
- You setting high aspirations from life
We are our own home. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to live this way with ourselves?
I hope you and all of us become persons who respect ourselves and do not give the keys of respect to anyone.
Now here I share 20 ways to show respect for yourself
20 Ways to respect yourself
1. Know what you want
I believe that the most important way to respect yourself is to first know what you want and define your standard.
If you don’t know what you want, you will easily get swayed and you will easily tolerate and accept whatever is given to you.
You must know what you want and not budge from there whether it is knowing what you want from life, out of a relationship or even normal situations.
It’s okay to want things and it’s very important that you do.
It’s not being selfish, but taking care of your needs and wants.
2. Don’t shame yourself for your needs
If you don’t value your needs, nobody else will.
People may try to shame you saying you’re for asking too much, but you don’t shame yourself.
Don’t be ashamed of what you want as long as it’s the right thing for your as well as the majority’s happiness.
Don’t let it rethink what you’re asking.
You are under every obligation to look after your needs.
The people who make you rethink and doubt your needs are only putting their own wants above you and undervaluing what you want.
If at all, you should come to a place where both of your needs are respected and valued.
The ones who truly love you will always try to put your needs alongside their own.
They will value your needs and your point of view, and far from making you feel ashamed, they will try to understand and come to a resolution.
3. Respect your emotions
Start respecting your emotions if you want to show respect to yourself.
Don’t downplay your emotions just to fit into what another person can give you.
Take care of your feelings and address what you’re feeling whether it is by confronting the one who hurt you or by journaling your heart out.
Our emotions are intelligent. It tells us exactly where our needs are going unmet.
The more you neglect your emotional well-being, the more you keep disrespecting yourself, and the more you lose your joy and happiness in loving yourself.
Listen to what your emotions are telling you and take action based on your well-being.
P.S To know more about yourself and build a better connection with yourself, you can join my free 21 Day Journaling Guide for self-discovery, healing and personal growth
4. Respect your body
An essential part of respecting ourself is to respect our body.
If you shame yourself for your body, then you can never respect yourself enough.
Our body is our temple and if we don’t respect our bodies, we will slowly feel farther and farther away from us.
Respecting your body is also about choosing who you are in a relationship with carefully and eating good food and exercising regularly.
Treat your body with respect and love and be grateful for all that it is doing for you.
5. Respect your time
Many people complain that other people are not respecting their time.
But it is not just how others are respecting your time, but first about how you are valuing and respecting your own time.
If you don’t value your time, if you don’t know what to do with your time, if you don’t have goals to pursue with your time, then you will always allow others to disrespect your time.
You must have goals, dreams, ambitions, and hobbies to fill your time with instead of always being available to their wants and needs.
Know the value of time yourself and then others will start valuing your time as well.
6. Respect your opinions
Respect your opinions and views and don’t let others put your opinions down.
Your opinion, your views, and your perspective matter.
If there’s someone trying to undervalue your opinions, don’t let it make you rethink your own opinion about yourself.
Be brave to stand up for what you believe is right.
If you don’t respect your opinion, then no one else will.
You have to believe in yourself and your thoughts and believe that you are worthy of sharing your views too as a dignified human being.
7. Don’t tolerate less than what you deserve
Know what you deserve, know what you want and don’t tolerate any less.
Know how others should talk to you and address you and don’t tolerate any less.
If there is someone disrespecting you whether it is in your family, your friends or anyone, set your bar and let them know you won’t tolerate it.
8. Cut your negative self-talk
How do you talk to someone you really love and respect?
You would naturally talk to them with care and show your love, support and concern. You would praise them and talk highly of them.
We talk with ourselves all the time, but it goes without being really aware.
The number one way we show disrespect to ourselves is through our self-talk when we put ourselves down, say mean things to ourselves and don’t trust and believe in ourselves.
To start showing respect to yourself, you need to start showing respect to your self-talk.
Be aware of what you’re speaking to yourself and say only kind things, uplifting things, and encouraging things.
If you don’t speak kindly and speak with respect for yourself, you will never expect others to love and respect you too.
Whereas if you speak kindly, lovingly and respectfully to yourself always then you won’t ever tolerate someone who won’t speak in the same way as you.
9. Don’t beg for love
Many of us lose our self-respect in the name of love.
I myself had been in that kind of situation when I was very young and in love for the first time. In that relationship, I had reached a point where I had begged to not be left.
But still, he did.
And now I am so very thankful.
Because after that first heartbreak, never have I stooped so low to ask for love.
I have come to know my worth ever since then and never will I ever make myself be in that position again.
We seek love to the point of losing ourselves.
Never ever beg for love because the ones who love you won’t make you beg for it.
They will give you freely.
You don’t need someone in your life for whom you would have to constantly fight and perform for their love.
That would be a lifetime of losing your self-respect over someone who doesn’t even love you.
Love yourself and respect yourself enough to never beg for love and instead give all your love to yourself.
- P.S 20 things to do in your 20s (or 30s) instead of finding love
- 10 Best Things I have come to know about love
10. Walk off from people who don’t value you
Be brave enough to walk off from people who don’t value you.
You will know from their actions who values you and who doesn’t.
Give them chances and see the picture from both sides, but once you find that you are constantly being undervalued and disrespected, walk off from them.
Don’t let their perception of you alter your perception of yourself.
Hold no grudges, but be kind.
Accept that they aren’t meant to be in your life forever.
Only surround yourself with people who make you feel light, joyful and those who support you and your dreams.
11. See yourself highly
How do you see yourself?
Do you see yourself highly or do you see yourself poorly?
How you visualise yourself in the world is powerful and it gives a signal to others in how they should view you too.
Start seeing yourself highly.
Here I am not asking you to have a superiority complex and think that you are better than everyone else.
That is as bad as having an inferiority complex.
But I am asking you to see yourself in the light of love, respect, worthiness and dignity.
Many people in our life make us feel low about ourselves, but you should again fill yourself up and believe in yourself.
You have to see yourself highly and with full dignity and love. Because you are born and you are a human being, you have the right to take up space, you have the right to be loved, to be respected and cherished.
But first, you must feel all that about yourself before anybody else can make you feel so.
Don’t ever let yourself diminish yourself.
12. Stop waiting for validation
Stop waiting for others to give you that validation button to go ahead with your hopes, dreams and what should feel about yourself.
Don’t wait for external validation.
Ask yourself why other people’s opinions and thoughts matter so much.
Where is the need to feel validated coming from?
You are enough. Your opinions are enough.
If you keep asking for validation, that means you don’t trust and respect yourself enough.
13. Follow your dreams and have ambition
Be a person who has dreams and aspirations.
Have ambition for yourself.
Don’t just go by passing your life without any meaning.
Life is full of opportunities, mystery and wonderful things.
Respect your life and respect the possibilities it holds for you.
Believe that you can do great things and meaningful things in life no matter what your age.
Believe that any dream can be achieved if you are confident you can.
Don’t let society and people make you think that your dreams are too unachievable.
Be foolish enough to have dreams, and later it will all make sense.
If you believe in your life and have hope for yourself, that is the greatest way to show that you respect yourself.
14. Have a learning spirit
To respect yourself you need to respect your time here on earth.
You need to learn that you are not just here to suffer but to learn.
Have a learning spirit.
Be curious about your life and be curious about things. Give yourself the gift of curiosity
Don’t ever say that you can’t without even trying. That would be undervaluing all the things that you can do.
You can learn to paint, draw, dance, ride a bike, run marathons or do anything you want to.
Don’t let life bore you out.
Instead, let life show its interesting parts to you.
To be determined to learn new things or learn out of your negative experiences and not let them defeat you is how you show respect for yourself and to your life.
P.S here are 30 things to learn when bored at home
15. Grow your determination
Many people will try to demean you and make you feel that you are not worthy or capable of things.
If you respect yourself, you will not resent them, but you will be thankful to such people for inspiring you to show what you are capable of doing.
If you respect yourself, you will allow their doubt to fuel your determination and go after your highest potential.
16. Show yourself love and compassion
We are kind and respectful to everyone but ourselves.
When it comes to loving ourselves, we don’t know how to.
But you only need to be kind and loving to yourself in your thoughts, words and deeds and that’s how you show that you respect yourself.
Respect comes only when you love yourself.
Love is an all-encompassing word. If you truly love yourself, you will respect yourself and will not tolerate any disrespect to yourself.
Show yourself immense love and compassion, especially at times when you feel you deserve none.
You are allowed to be loved by you at all times without fail.
There are no conditions needed.
17. Cut off bad habits
To show respect to yourself you have to cut off your bad habits and work on building good ones.
Your bad habit may be eating a lot of junk food, smoking, gossiping, or being too lazy.
Whatever it may be you need to recognise your dominant bad habits and cut them off one by one.
18. Set boundaries
Not setting boundaries is the number one cause of dissatisfaction with ourselves and why we end up feeling like our time, energy and effort is getting disrespected.
To avoid all of this, we just need to be good in setting boundaries.
Learn to say no. Learn to limit your interactions with people who end up draining your energy.
Learn to set boundaries on what you will accept and not accept.
Setting boundaries is a way of showing respect to yourself and no, you don’t need to explain yourself for it.
19. Examine who you surround yourself with
Notice who you surround yourself with. You become the average of the five people you are the closest with.
Are these five people in your life someone who has the best interest for you?
Are they people who are going on their own personal transformation journey and want to improve their life too?
Are they truly happy about your success and your changes?
Be mindful of the kind of people you surround yourself and are friends with.
Don’t simply be friends to fit in. Trust your heart and the connection you feel. Energy never lies.
20. Accept mistakes
If you’ve made a mistake, accept that you’ve made a mistake. It’s a way of showing respect for yourself.
Its a way of being honest to yourself.
If you’re dishonest, you can never respect yourself. Even if you feel no one will ever find out, it doesn’t matter.
You are your own universe. God exists within you. You see and know each of your actions. So don’t be dishonest.
Accept where you have made a mistake with grace and compassion.
Many people think that accepting their mistakes would diminish their respect, but that’s not true.
A self-respecting individual is one who can accept their mistakes, make amends and tries to improve.
Only someone who is too overbearing and full of pride won’t accept their mistakes or try to see things from another perspective.
21. Know that you are worthy
Know fully in your heart that you are worthy no matter what.
You have worth and you must know it.
Don’t let anyone make you doubt it.
If things didn’t work out, don’t let it doubt that there was something wrong with you.
I hear so many of my friends say that they feel they are the ones that have something wrong with them.
No, please, don’t believe so.
There is nothing wrong with you, so don’t make yourself feel low.
Know that you are infinitely worthy and believe in yourself and love yourself for who you are and how you are.
The ones who love you will be able to see through even the hardest shell.
You are worthy and deserve to be respected, by yourself first and foremost.
So these were all the ways to start respecting yourself.
How to start respecting yourself more?
Finally, I would say that if you do everything from a place of love instead of feeling small about yourself, you will naturally start respecting yourself more.
Also, in self-respect, there should be pride, but it is to be kept in check.
There is only a thin line between arrogance and healthy pride.
If you truly love yourself, you will only do things that are best for you.
Also, if you truly love yourself, you will only accept things that are best for you and won’t tolerate any insult, harm or bad treatment from anybody else.
It’s not about fighting with every person who treats you in a manner you don’t like, but about taking a stand for yourself because you respect yourself.
Start believing with your whole heart that you are worthy, that you deserve the best of everything and start making that happen for yourself.
Don’t diminish yourself and don’t diminish your dreams.
Go after what your heart wants no matter how difficult and that’s how you show respect to yourself and to your potential.
If you truly respect yourself, you won’t disrespect any other.
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