Love is easily the thing that can give us the utmost happiness and also the greatest of sadness. The ones whom we love make us most glad and also sometimes make us most mad. But despite everything, we all love love. I most certainly do and in this post, I just wanted to capture the 10 best things I have come to know about love.
It amazes me to think how two different individuals can come to love each other, fiercely, compassionately, and thoughtfully and feel the same things at the same time for each other.
You might think, ‘It just happens’, but then, what were the chances? It could’ve been that you could have loved, but the other person didn’t. It could’ve been that the other person loved you but you didn’t.
Isn’t it truly a gift then, ‘to love and be loved in return’?
I am truly thankful for this gift of love and I am thankful that I have been able to experience love in all of its vastness. And so the things that I have come to know about love for sure are thus:
1. Love is what makes us down to earth: Love is no luxury, love is nothing grand. Love is humble. It enjoys and thrives in simple things and simple times and lets us appreciate the beauty of it. Thus I feel love makes us down to earth.
2. The satisfaction from love only comes when you are able ‘to love’ and not so much in only being loved. I used to think that being loved is what matters in love, that as long as another person loved me deeply I would be happy. But how wrong I was.
People also say that you need to find someone who loves you more than you do. But I would not want that. I would rather be the one to love more and have a love that loves me equally as I do. And that I have.
Being loved is no fun if you are not able to love in return. There is no satisfaction in only being loved. Of course, it saves us from being hurt, but we must be ready to take the risk, for the real satisfaction from love only comes when we are able to love and then be loved in return. That is why it is such a gift to love and be loved!
3. With deep love always comes the possibility of deep pain: There is pain because there is love. And I have come to know that you cannot really say you love someone (or something) unless you are ready to also embrace the pain that comes along with it.
And here the question is not whether we should feel the pain or not, but whether we feel that our love is worthy enough to bear the pain for.
And in this, our heart most certainly knows the answer. As long as the happiness derived from love is far greater than the sadness we will keep going and we will not care about how much pain we went through.
4. Love is not so much a good talker but is a good listener and a good action taker. I have come to know that true love always shows and always listens more than it says. It may not be the loudest but is most certainly visible. Love speaks through actions and in this I feel how can someone have a doubt whether someone loves him/ her or not. Isn’t it always showing and isn’t it always listening if it is truly loving? If we only noticed this fact, then I think there would be fewer heartaches.
5. You can love someone better only when you love yourself better. I have come to know that if I am weak, if I am ignorant of my own well-being, only depending on my partner to look after my well-being and my happiness, then my relationship will suffer.
But if I am loving myself better by trying to improve myself daily, by bringing in self-awareness, by trying to mend my flaws, and by taking the responsibility to construct my own happiness first then this has the strongest effect on the way I love.
Love then becomes no longer a dependence, but support for us to become more independent. And that is how love should be. Love thus requires constant practice of loving ourselves better.
6. Blame is the greatest poison of love: I have come to know that if there is anything that kills a healthy relationship, then it is blame. When a relationship is suffering and reflect upon what is causing such troubles, I have always found the answer in blame.
But if the greatest poison is blame, then the greatest healer of love is understanding- understanding our own self, our own negativities, our own urges, our own shortcomings, and then understanding that our partner also has their own. Love is understanding but it is easier to say than to do, that is why love is a constant practice to understand oneself and one another. And also that, it is in forgiveness that love is complete.
7. Love is that which keeps our inner child alive. The best part of loving I have found is to play with my loved one, to talk nonsense, to ask silly questions, to enjoy little pleasures, to fight some little fights, and to just keep the child alive in me. Love never grows old and with love, you will never grow old.
8. Love thrives in learning: We, humans, are always thriving in learning and unconsciously we are always looking for things to learn from. I have found that love thrives best when we are learning. When we strive to become a better version of ourselves, we can give a better ‘us’ to our partners and it is this kind of love that will keep on growing.
I have found if you give your loved one something to learn from you and look up to they will never leave you.
When I was getting to know my partner, there were so many things I learned from him. Many of the things that I strive hard for, he seems to do it naturally. There are so many things I look up to in him. And he is one of the main reasons my life is simple and carefree.
9. True Love uplifts and never hinders: Love can never be a hindrance to our goals. Instead, it is what helps us want to reach our goals and put more effort into ourselves. If it acts as a hindrance, it is not love.
10. Love never runs out: Lastly I have come to know that love never runs out. At times when we are most mad, it might seem that there is only anger and hurt, but I have found that when it is love, when it is true love, it always fills itself again just as if water slowly pours into a bowl and fills it. And I can’t understand where this tap of love comes from, but it sure fills the bowl of our heart again. And thus I have found that love is inexhaustible. Love is never done and love never runs out.
I wish you a wonderful week ahead.
Happy Valentine’s Day!!