How To Become Mentally Strong

Life tests us all. The question is not how to remove problems from our lives, but how to become mentally strong enough to face them and maintain peace and stability even amidst life’s storms.

When we walk, we wear shoes to protect our feet from getting hurt and dirty.

In order to protect ourselves, we don’t cover the entire earth in soft carpets to walk comfortably; just covering our feet is enough.

In the same way, we need not remove all the problems from our life because problems and suffering are part of life, but what we can do is to be covered in mental strength and resilience.

Being mentally strong is like wearing a good pair of shoes.

Life does not discriminate against anyone when it comes to hardships, the same way as the sun does not discriminate against whom it will shine.

So when life tests us, some of us rise from our suffering, and some succumb to their problems and lose all meaning and hope

My life, too, is far from perfect.

There are inevitable highs and lows, but what matters is how we surf them.

People often see me as soft-spoken, gentle, even fragile.

I am an introvert by nature. I do not speak unless I have to, I have a petite frame, and on the outside, I might look delicate.

But they don’t know how mentally strong I am.

Yes, little things do hurt me, such as when I see an emotional movie, especially if any animals die.

I get hurt when someone I love speaks harshly, or when I see cruelty in the world.

But beneath all that, the inner me is tough and quietly resilient. I don’t back down easily, and I hold strong boundaries and standards in my relationships.

And so today, I want to share with you some tips to be mentally strong and build inner strength — the mindset and practices that have kept me grounded and helped me rise from within.

How to become mentally strong

Table of Contents

1. Be Equanimous.

The first time I came across the word equanimity was during my very first Vipassana meditation retreat.

Equanimity means staying balanced — not just during life’s storms, but also through its sunshine.

It’s the ability to remain calm and steady amidst both the highs and the lows.

To not be swept away by either praise or blame or gain or loss

This doesn’t mean becoming emotionless.

You can feel sadness and still be equanimous.

You can feel joy and still be equanimous.

The key is not to let those emotions uproot you.

How to become mentally strong- be equanimous

A simple way to practice this is by choosing to be rooted in yourself — in your presence, your breath, your awareness.

We are often far more powerful than we give ourselves credit for.

A way to build mental strength is simply by choosing- choosing to stay calm. Choosing not to be swayed.

Say to yourself:

“I choose to be stable through it all.”
“I choose not to let this sway me.”
“I choose to stay rooted in myself.”

Just this single conscious choice can shift your inner state.

We think things are unbearable, because we’ve already decided they are.

You don’t even have to be strong — just stable.

And that, in itself, is strength.

2. Focus on what you can control

How to become mentally strong- focus on what you can control

When things don’t happen your way and you feel helpless, come back to the basics.

Focus on what you can control.
Let go of what you can’t.

A good practice is to name your problems.

What is bothering you?

Then ask yourself, “Is it something under my control?”

If no, then let it go and let God handle it. Trust in His wisdom and timing.

Meanwhile, focus on what is under YOUR control. Name them too.

What are the things under your control?

How you see yourself through this
Your reactions
Your self-care
Your mindset
How you use your time
How you talk to yourself
Who you choose to be with

All these are under your control.

Let this give you strength.

P.S Mindset shifts to change your life

3. Surrender and Trust

How to become mentally strong- Surrender

We feel helpless and weak because we don’t trust ourselves and God enough.

If you feel anxious, worried, tense or scared, it is because you are not trusting God and surrendering.

There is something that you aren’t letting go of.

Find that and name that.

Then ask yourself, “Would it make any difference if you surrendered and trusted more?”

If yes, then practice surrendering.

Allow yourself to surrender.

This does not mean to give up, but rather it means to let go.

To surrender means to trust. If we truly surrender, there will be no anxiety, no worry, no panic.

We are only anxious because we fail to surrender. Surrender and let go of all the things you think should be, should have been, supposed to and all else.

Live like a river, not a rock.

Where are you not trusting? Where do you need to surrender? Surrender.

Everything happens at its best time. Trust the timing of the Universe.

You are always taken care of.

P.S. If you are ready to give a try at working on yourself and changing your life, I have recently created a Special challenge/Guide for you to Change your Life in 7 days.

I think you’ll love it if you give it a try for 7 days and see what’s possible for you.

4. Don’t negotiate with self-respect

How to become mentally strong-have self respect

When it comes to self-respect, do not negotiate anything with it.

If you keep your self-respect high, then you will always be mentally strong.

Knowing exactly what you want and how you want to be treated will make you mentally strong because you won’t tolerate anything less.

Always keep your standards high, and this will help you filter out the people who are not meant to be in your life.

Let them think what they want to think.

Let them do what they wish to do.

Think that they are making your life easier.

If you keep your self-respect and dignity high, then your self-respect will automatically be high.

5. Take care of your inner speech

how to be mentally strong- take care of your inner speech

The way you talk to yourself matters because YOU are always listening.

If you want to be mentally strong, notice what words you are telling yourself and thereby believing.

If cannot be strong if you keep telling yourself you are weak.

You can never be free from anxiety if all you keep reminding yourself is how anxious you are.

You can never be successful if you keep telling yourself that you don’t know how to start.

Take care of your inner dialogue and change your life.

P.S 50 more ideas to change your life completely

6. Think high-quality thoughts

Anytime you are feeling low or in a constant state of stuckness where everything feels stagnant, it is demanding that you elevate your thoughts and think high-level thoughts.

I went through a long period of feeling low and stuck after my breakup, and it was because I didn’t do anything to improve my life state.

I just became okay with how I was feeling, what I was thinking and how I was starting to live.

I had started to wake up late, not follow my morning routine, and not give time to reading any books or listening to any good podcasts that nourished my mind.

Basically, I was in the grip of my ego, which was thriving when I was in a low-life condition.

This should not be the case.

Of course, you are allowed to feel what you feel, but you are also responsible for elevating your inner life condition.

I would remember the time when my life state was always high, when I would feel vibrant, not because everything was going very well, but because I took better care of myself.

Then I noticed the difference in how I felt and how I lived when I took charge of elevating my thoughts and when I didn’t.

Turned out that when I am feeding my mind with a good book and a good podcast, I elevate my thoughts and with it, my state of being.

Whereas when I fill it with garbage, such as constant scrolling, watching 2-minute reels, obsessing over the past and how things were supposed to be, I was stuck in feeling low, unmotivated and without any energy.

Those 2-minute reels and useless YouTube videos might feel like a quick fix, a short-term dopamine hit, but in the long term, they leave you feeling more empty and exhausted.

So it is your responsibility to uplift yourself by thinking high-quality thoughts.

7. Do the smallest hard things

We become stuck because we get too comfortable with being comfortable.

I am all for rest, slow living and gentle living.

I don’t want to be a girl boss. I don’t want to hustle. I don’t want to work to the point of burnout.

But I also don’t want to live without any purpose.

I don’t want to live a life where I put no effort and show no hard work in the things I care about.

So find the things you care about if you haven’t already.

I am saying this because you have to train yourself to do the hard things if you want to be mentally strong.

And there are all different levels of hard.

Doing a hard thing does not always mean that you go right away into writing that book, losing 10 kgs, or reading 10 books.

It can be as small as simply opening a book, getting into your workout clothes, or writing a paragraph.

Whereas there could also be some who are only surviving and dragging themselves from day to day.

If cleaning feels like hard work, tackle just folding your clothes or washing the dishes.

Find the smallest hard thing and do exactly what your mind does not want you to do.

Then slowly increase your hard by doing new things that scare you.

This is how you become mentally strong and tough.

8. Power affirmations

Affirmations are powerful tools and should be treated highly if you want to become mentally tough and strong.

Affirming positive and successful things is how you change your inner talk from self-doubt to belief, from anxiety to peace and from weakness to strength.

Every morning after you wake up, give care to how you start your morning.

Include some powerful affirmations in your morning.

You can listen to them- here are some powerful affirmations by Louis hay.

You can read them.

Or you can say it to yourself after your prayer and meditation.

Affirmations are a form of prayer, too.

Here are some affirmations for you:

9. Sweat it out

If you want to be mentally strong, you have to do something sweaty.

Start working out if you haven’t already.

You can join the gym or start doing home workouts.

I work out at home mostly following Pamela Reif or Chloe Ting’s workout.

Or go for a walk, a run, dance in front of a mirror or do simple yoga.

Whatever it is that you do, involve some physical activity that sweats you out.

I feel so much better and stronger and have better energy on the days I work out, so I don’t think it’s a coincidence.

P.S. Here is how I made myself love working out.

10. Practice self-care and self-compassion

You deserve the same love that you give to others so freely.

You deserve the same understanding that you show to your friends and loved ones.

So many of us don’t know how to show love and care for ourselves.

We don’t give a moment to ourselves and always beat ourselves up, cursing ourselves for the smallest mistakes we made.

We don’t have to be so hard on ourselves.

If being hard on ourselves didn’t work for so long, it won’t ever will.

Now, try being soft and loving to yourself.

Mental strength does not have to come from a place of ruthless determination and discipline.

Softness and self-care are a form of discipline, too.

Practising self-care makes us aware of our truest needs.

So don’t forget yourself when your world goes upside down.

You need your friendship and love more than anything during this time.

It is when life is testing you that you need to double down your energy on the things that uplift you.

So slow down. Savour a cup of tea.

Put away your phone. Read a book. Try a new hobby.

Dress yourself well.

Clean your room

And practice self-care and self-compassion.

They are your pillars in life.

And this is how you become mentally strong.

Final thoughts on becoming mentally strong

Pin to save:

Here’s a quote to end with,

“Our Greatest Glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.”

Life will always have storms, things won’t always go our way, and we’ll have many situations that will make us question ‘why did this happen to me’, but when you nurture your inner resilience, you have the power to stop asking why and instead accept everything with grace and gentle strength without losing yourself.

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Hello, I'm Vishaka!

How To Become Mentally Strong