There’s no denying that all of us here want to be a more positive person in life. We love to meet a positive person. We love to talk to them or even just listen to them or watch them.
Think of Oprah, Obama, Jay Shetty, Michelle Obama, Malala, Sushmita Sen, Deepak Chopra, Yung Pueblo, and so many others.
Just seeing them, being near them, talking to them or even just watching them, reading them, and hearing them brings us so much confidence, strength and encouragement.
They make us say, “I want to be like them”, “How can someone be so positive, so inspiring, so full of courage and confidence?”
Being a positive person is contagious.
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The hope, courage, positivity and encouragement of a positive person spreads like wildfire.
Positivity sows seeds of positivity just like negativity sows seeds of negativity.
It matters what seeds we are sowing.
In today’s world, we might think the world is getting increasingly toxic and negative, and we’re very quick to complain and talk about all that is wrong in today’s world.
But there are still so many positive people who are trying to make a positive change in this world.
Each of us matters in this.
We may not be able to do make a big change in the world, but we can make a big change in our own world and in the world of our loved ones.
Your family can transform and your children and their children can be benefitted.
You taking care and trying to eliminate your toxic traits makes the world a little less heavy.
It doesn’t matter if you feel your life is full of negativity right now.
From a tiny seed, a mighty tree can be born.
Even the tiniest of intentions to be more positive and hopeful in life if nurtured and cared for, can grow to become mighty and from there, flowers of beautiful relationships, harmonious families and a peaceful community can grow.
That is why it is so important for us to be a positive person when we get a chance to be alive and live this life.
Being Positive is a skill
Of course, negative things will happen, we’ll feel bad about it, and it is going to suck a lot of times, but that’s okay too.
Why should we live this one life being angry, holding grudges, holding limiting beliefs and saying “I can’t?”
So today, in this post I just want to share some ways to be a more positive person.
It’s amazing how simple it is, but it is the simple things that are hard and takes practice.
However, the results are guaranteed.
I am surprised at how I’ve turned into a fairly positive person myself. I almost fail to look at the negative now. I fail to talk in a manner that is self-deprecating.
I fail to have disbelief in myself now.
Yes, sometimes I do face self-doubt, but for the most part, I am mostly positive and hopeful about anything that happens in my life and how my life is to unfold.
I am excited about life now, whereas earlier, I used to feel hopeless and fearful.
I know now how to make myself stand up despite the challenges, setbacks and downtimes.
And I can say for a fact that being positive is a skill like any other and that anybody can become positive from negative.
How to Become a More Positive Person
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1. Practice mindfulness
Mindfulness is the bedrock of all the positive change that can take place.
Mindfulness is simply awareness and it’s simply being mindful of something- particularly mindful of your thoughts, words, speech and actions.
The reason why we live a negative life is because we are living in ignorance and we fail to see and be mindful of our own negativity and our own toxic traits.
Mindfulness helps us look at ourselves and our life with open eyes.
We must realise how bad we are in order to realise how good we are.
And for this mindfulness helps.
But when the negative parts of us show up, remember to treat them with kindness and change them with kindness, and not start another cycle of negative self-talk and criticism that you’re not good.
You’re already good and you’re already positive. You just have to manifest it more.
2. Look out for the lesson
Some of us live a negative life and waste years upon years being stuck on what negative things happened to us or what someone did to us.
We think “If only they had not done this”, “If only this had not happened”, “If only he/she had not behaved this way…” and live our life stuck in past anger, resentment, and failed expectations.
But whose life is it really getting wasted this way? Our own.
Life has different ways of teaching us things.
God cannot come to us and give us classes on how to be strong and positive.
He (though I don’t believe God has a gender) always sends us experiences and situations and sometimes they are heartbreaking and crushing.
But always try to ask yourself, “What’s the lesson in this?”
“What is this trying to teach me?”
There will always be something if you let your true-self guide you.
You cannot change what happened, but you can change what story you tell yourself.
Right now you may be repeating the story of hurt, anger, doubt, disbelief, criticism and resentment, but you can always choose to tell a different story starting from now on if you only really decide.
Choose a story that helps you turn those failures into lessons if you want to get rid of negativity and be a more positive person.
3. Embrace wholeness
Being a positive person does not mean you will always feel positive.
To always be positive is not something to aim for. This would create another set of negativity whenever less than positive emotions show up.
We are human and we simply have to acknowledge our humanness to be a more positive person.
To be positive means that you allow yourself to be less than positive, sometimes because you know it is not permanent too.
Our goal should not be to be happy or positive.
Our goal is simply to embrace wholeness- to feel bad when we feel bad and not judge feeling bad.
To feel sad when we feel sad and not judge our feeling sad.
We simply need to say, “Right now I am feeling like this” and not judge our less-than-positive feelings.
We just need to be mindful of it and take care of our feelings and not go on rolling with it in criticism, anger and lack of trust.
4. Pause before reacting
I grew up in a family where there wasn’t much harmony between my parents and family.
We lived in a joint family and some of my family members were really critical of me and my mother since the time I was a little kid.
(I couldn’t understand why, but I knew everything, even as a little child- what was right and wrong by how they talked to me, how they spoke of me and my mother, how they blamed me and how they thought less of me in their words and actions from the time I was a kid till the time I became an adult.)
I was a furious kid and a teenager growing up, and even in my early 20s.
I would burn in anger, scream and throw things around my house whenever I heard words or something against me and the people I loved.
Every little thing made me react and I was tired of fighting, and resenting.
I couldn’t wait to grow up and leave the house for higher studies.
But leaving the house didn’t stop me from reacting because that tendency was still there inside me.
What really helped me was going for a 10-day Vipassana retreat in Bodhgaya. It was something so hard, revealing, but worth it.
Meditating for 10+ hours a day helped me see the roots of anger within me and helped me to learn how to pause and stop.
It’s a lifelong practice- to learn how to pause, and to stop. But that was my starting point.
There have been moments when it was really hard at times, but I would choose to not react.
Instead, I set stronger boundaries and I would tell myself they’re invisible and or that their hurtful words can’t reach me.
I remember looking at the lotus and telling and my mother “Mummy, we’re lotuses in the mud”
I would keep repeating myself, “I want to be like a lotus. I want to be like a lotus”
And this would help me to stop reacting.
I am still not perfect at pausing and sometimes still react unnecessarily, but it las lessened a lot and now I come back to my center quicker, realize my mistakes sooner and hope to keep on practise pausing.
5. Catch limiting beliefs
Limiting beliefs are just that- they are beliefs that limit you from becoming who you are meant to be and how your life can be.
They can be small but they can have you stop from even trying, dreaming and taking action because you believe you can’t have it before you even try.
They are what make you believe that dreaming of your truest desires is “out of the question” or “out of my way” before you even seek to find a way.
Limiting beliefs are very subtle and we don’t even realise we have them until we start catching them.
Having them doesn’t make you negative, but you should be able to recognise them if you want to be a more positive person.
Examples of limiting beliefs are such as:
“It’s too late”
“I am too old”
“I can’t ever change this”
“I am not good at this”
“I am not worthy”
“I will never get out of debt”
“I will never be rich”
Limiting beliefs then become self-fulfilling prophecies and that is why life always remains the way it is.
Start catching your limiting beliefs and really think about and write down what limiting beliefs you are holding on to for so long.
Then actively start questioning them and changing them with positive affirmations.
If you want to learn how to do that, join my ‘You can Change your Life 7 days Challenge’ and receive daily tasks and questions for the next 7 days.
6. Read good books
People don’t just learn how to start thinking positively.
We need to feed our minds with positive things.
We need to be open to let positivity in.
But many people hate self-help.
They think they already know “what to do to be positive”.
They think they already know “what’s inside a book”.
But that’s just their inner ignorance speaking that fears changing and that fears that even after knowing all of it, they won’t be able to make a change.
Reading good books that feed the positive is the most essential tool to start being a more positive person.
We have so many negative thought patterns. Good books help us reframe our mindset and change our entire thought pattern.
It doesn’t happen just like it. But books are a wonderful way to do it and it is openly available to us.
I love reading self-help and educational books in the morning.
It’s a part of my morning routine. & here are my best morning read books recommendations if you want to check them out.
7. Listen to good podcasts
Many people say they can’t read books. My brother is one of them.
He says he just can’t focus on a book and get himself into the reading habit.
I know it’s because he keeps on saying “I can’t” before even trying, but you can’t say much to your own close ones.
So I just ask him to listen to good podcasts or audio books.
They are life-changing too.
Here are the 10 best podcasts to listen to
8. Be mindful of what you take in
We take in limiting beliefs and negative thoughts about ourselves and what we can be and achieve because we’re not mindful of what we’re taking in.
Every day we’re taking in a whole lot of information.
All our life we’ve been taking in suggestions, beliefs and thought processes of our parents, friends, relatives, family and our society as a whole.
And let me tell you, most of them are not supportive.
They try to limit us and stop us from daring.
They make us fearful and play safe if we are to become successful.
They make us question our potential and even who we are or how we are.
And if you’re not very mindful of it, we go on accepting things they have to say about us and their mindset becomes our mindset.
Their thinking becomes our thinking.
That is why when somebody tries to put into your mind a negative belief or negative future scenario, be mindful of it.
Watch out for the words people tell you in the name of advice, in the name of being practical, or sometimes just out of plain jealousy and anger.
Let them think their thoughts and let them tell you things, but you decide now what you want to take into your subconscious.
9. Visualise the outcome
To be a more positive and hopeful person, you need to use the tool of visualisation.
Don’t you think it’s so magical to be able to imagine?
I think it’s magical and mysterious (just like in the Avatar movie) that we can see things clearly in our minds about what we can have, do and be.
And yet many of us fail to use the power of imagination and visualisation.
People say they’re not good at visualising, but I think all of us are good at visualising.
We use our minds only for worrying and visualising all the things that could go wrong.
And that is what anxiety is.
Anxious people are actually a pro in visualising, but now they’re visualising only the negative things that could happen to them and they believe in them so hard that they have an attack.
And there’s nothing wrong with it too.
If we don’t train ourselves to visualize the positive outcome, it’s easy for our mind to visualize the negative as a default.
By practicing sitting calmly and visualizing the positive outcome intentionally, slowly we can become a more positive person and grow faith in ourselves.
10. Watch what you’re saying
I don’t understand how people can joke about themselves and their life situations.
I am talking about things such as this.
I know all of us want to live a full life, be rich, have fun and enjoy ourselves, but nothing can change if you’re okay with how things are.
Be careful about what words you’re saying to yourself and others because you are always listening.
If you keep on saying “I can’t”, will you ever try?
If you keep on saying “I am too lazy”, will you ever show determination to change?
If you keep on saying “I can never be rich” can you ever be rich?
The answer is no.
Good fortune lies in your mouth and how your life turns out to be depends greatly upon what words you are saying.
So be mindful of it and renounce all memes and jokes about how poor, broke, lazy, depressed, or sad your life is.
11. Have an attitude of gratitude
I know you hear this often- That you should be a grateful person.
That you should be thankful for what you have.
And it might have even started to get above your head, but this only keeps on getting repeated because gratitude IS really a life shifter.
Being positive and being grateful are two sides of the same coin. And gratefulness is also a skill you can practice.
If you want to make gratitude a base of your life and practice gratitude, try my 21-Day Gratitude Challenge that has had positive responses from so many of my readers.
12. Hang out with positive people
You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.
If you want to be a more positive person and change your life, watch out who you’re hanging out with.
Do they talk about growing, changing, having goals? Do they share with you their dreams about what you can do and what they want to do?
Are you hanging around with action-takers or people who are just good in their words?
Make sure that you hang out with people who fill you up with courage and give you confidence.
Evaluate what your bonding is standing upon- is it upon gossip, complaints, criticisms about anything and everything, about how hard life is, about how there is no future for us or is it upon goals, dreams and action?
Bond with people over health rather than sickness, over gratitude rather than complaints, over appreciation rather than gossip, over goals rather than dismay.
And if you can’t find positive people in your circle, be one. Soon you will attract your tribe of people who fit into this new version of you.
If you don’t have many friends, listen to podcasts, read good books and spend time constructively.
13. Practice positive affirmations
We are always affirming things.
But right now we are in the habit of affirming the negative or the things that we don’t want in our life.
Every time we say “I am so lazy” we are affirming that we are lazy and by affirming, we are believing so and our actions turn out exactly so.
Every time we say” I am always going to be poor” we are affirming we will always be poor and will always remain so and our actions will be aligned so.
How our life is right now is a result of all the things we have affirmed so far.
It’s because we keep on saying “I can’t..”, “It won’t”, “I am too scared” and all of these things, our life has been limited.
Try saying “I can”, “I will try”, “I am good”, “I am capable”, “I will be rich”, “I will be successful” and see how your life changes.
To be a more positive person, practice positive affirmations by listening to them or writing them down.
You can write down your own affirmations.
I automatically practice positive affirmations while I am journaling and it has helped me believe in myself more.
I have recently created a 21 Day Journaling for Self Discovery and healing and you can join me there if you haven’t yet subscribed to any of my other challenges yet.
14. Stop complaining
People who complain about anything and everything and who have gotten into the habit of complaining are such a turn-off.
When we complain, we bring low energy into the space we are in.
No wonder why we feel so drained and frustrated after we complain.
I used to be a complainer too. It’s so easy to become one if you keep yourself unchecked.
But over time, I have stopped complaining. My mum says she never hears me complaining and it’s one of my good traits.
But this wasn’t natural to be. I cut off the habit of complaining consciously as I became aware of my speech.
If you want to be a positive person, stop complaining.
While you complain about little things, it might seem minor and that it’s nothing, that it doesn’t matter or doesn’t have any effect, but yes it does.
Every small complaint counts in making your life miserable and more stressful.
Cut off complaints and lighten yourself.
15. Cut off from gossip
We people are so quick to say, “Nobody has the right to judge me or my choices”, but we go on judging others the same way.
I see this happening so very often.
Gossip comes from our ego’s need to know what others are doing and the ego’s need to find satisfaction in the faults of others.
But we’re so much more than our ego.
We’re so much more than our lesser selves that love to indulge in other people’s life.
If you want to be a positive and successful person, talk about ideas and interests, instead of other people.
Give thought to under which spaces, people and surroundings you end up gossiping the most.
Then slowly remove yourself from there.
If it’s hard for you to remove yourself, simply don’t engage in them. Remain quiet and only listen or nod or smile just for the sake of it.
You might come off as rude or bad, but stay true to your values and principles.
It’s the reason why I mostly remain quiet in my staffroom where most of the gossip happens.
My colleagues tell me I am in my own world and “she knows nothing”, but the fact is that I don’t WANT TO know anything.
Hold your boundaries and don’t care about what other people think.
I know it’s not always possible to be free from gossip 100%, but keep your head space and heart space clear from gossip and judgements as much as you can and live in awareness.
Hold the mantra: If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all.
16. Smile more and laugh more
Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh says, “Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.”
Don’t wait for joy and happiness in order to smile. Smile and let it be a reason to be happy.
Smile as you wake up in the morning. Smile as you shower, as you stretch and move your body. Smile when you go for a walk. For no reason.
It’s wonderful how easily a smile can change how we’re feeling.
A person who always has a frown on his face can never be positive.
Let your smile be your trademark and give genuine smiles to people.
It automatically raises the vibration and improves bonding.
When I am not so very positive and find it hard to gain clarity over something, when I am angry, confused and lacking peace, my diary is one of the things I turn to.
When I write and journal my thoughts and feelings, I gain clarity over how I am truly feeling and why I am feeling so.
An inner wisdom guides me through the pen and I get an answer to what I should do.
It reveals parts of me and things I am feeling underneath that I would fail to acknowledge otherwise.
I don’t how that happens, but I have come to understand the power of journaling and here are the benefits I have gained from journaling
18. Encourage people
Whenever you meet people, try to leave them feeling good.
If someone shares with you their dreams and hopes, give them a word of encouragement.
There are too many people who say it can’t be done, it might be risky, it’s not too practical etc.
People don’t need to hear those.
If you see someone starting something new or taking risks, appreciate their efforts and share what they’re doing.
We all would love to receive a few kind words from anyone and if you can give it to your close ones and the ones who may be needing it, that is a wonderful thing you could do.
If you feel awkward giving advice or encouragement, simply believe in them and say that you think that they can do it.
Instead of suggesting, simply show support. People need support more than suggestions.
19. Help people
I truly believe that helping others is actually an opportunity for the one who is helping rather than the one who gets helped.
If you find even a small chance to be of help to another, help them.
Go out of your way. Do it selflessly and don’t even expect a thank you.
Help others just for the sake of helping. It feels good.
There are many instances where we find people needing some help. Sometimes we don’t have the means to help them and if that’s the case, it’s okay.
But if your subconscious knock you and you know that you have the means to help them and can help them if you go ahead, and even if they’re not asking you directly, become a person who steps up and provide that help.
It can be as little as giving a lift to someone, providing monetary help, going as a friend with them, guiding someone to something you know, but don’t know, giving people information about something, giving them company in something, etc.
Increase your balance of good deeds as much as you can while you are alive.
Help people when they need help, not when you feel you are ready to help.
That’s the most positive thing you can do.
To be a more positive person, give yourself some time in your day to meditate.
You just have to sit down and focus on your breath. Focus entirely on your nostrils- the incoming breath and the outgoing breath.
If you get distracted, which is obvious that you will, simply bring your focus back again to your breath.
And that’s it. Keep repeating.
Do this every day for as little as you can or as much as you can.
You will notice a big change in your life and you will find yourself much calmer, positive and hopeful.
You can try guided meditations. I love this one.
I also use the ‘plum village’ app for guided meditations which is free.
Many people don’t believe in praying, but prayers really have the power to turn any negative into a positive.
Prayer can change hopelessness to hopefulness, complaints to gratitude and from “Why me?” to “I embrace it all”.
If you want to become a more positive person, pray.
Pray not to get this or get that, but pray for your inner self to get changed.
Whatever is blocking you from becoming more positive in life, pray for it to be removed- not only from your life but from your heart.
All blockages of our life comes first from a blockage in our heart.
Pray for peace, pray for strength, pray for determination and pray to have anything you feel you are lacking now.
The truth is you’re not lacking it, because you already have an abundance of it inside you. You just haven’t manifested it yet.
Prayer helps in bringing it out to the forefront.
What you pray you become.
Here is why I pray and how to pray.
22. Have more play
If all you do is work and work and work and you have forgotten how to smile, laugh and enjoy the little things in life that truly make you happy, then you can never be a positive person.
Also, you can never be a successful person this way.
Because true success is only that which allows you to have more play in your life.
We all want to be a positive person because we want to be a successful and happy life.
And for this, one essential criterion is to not forget the little joys of this life.
Have more play in your life. Give time to hobbies at least on your weekends. List out things you would want to do or try and do instead of simply scrolling your phone and sleeping.
When you’re 80, how would you want to have lived your life? That life is now, so make the most out of it.
P.S. here are some ideas:
23. Get good sleep
Don’t forget to get a good night’s sleep.
Sleep for 7-8 hours a day. And if you can, take afternoon/evening naps too.
I love my naps.
Not getting proper sleep can make you cranky and see the bad in everything.
So prioritise sleeping and your health first to be a more positive person.
Take out time for exercise.
Moving our body boosts our happy hormones and makes us feel good.
I am always happy and feel good after a good workout.
You don’t have to do high-intensity workouts to make you feel that you’re working out.
Even just light exercises and stretching are also okay for a start. This is how I made myself love working out
I follow Jessica Richburg, Mady Morisson for Yoga and Pamela Reif and Chloe Ting for workouts.
Keep it in your daily routine to exercise in the morning for at least 15-20 minutes.
25. Be kind
Be kind to yourself. Speak kindly to yourself.
Treat yourself as you would a loving friend. You are in a lifelong relationship with yourself. Be in a good one.
Encourage yourself and forgive yourself for past mistakes.
Allow yourself to make a change and show compassion to yourself in your journey.
26. Work on your self-esteem
Self-esteem is having belief and trust in yourself.
To be a more positive and hopeful person, you have to start building and growing your relationship with yourself.
If you have been neglecting yourself for a long time, you can always begin again.
If you’re struggling with low self-esteem, here is my guide on how to overcome low self-esteem.
Your relationship with you can begin at any point in your life.
You are always with you. Make sure you are there for yourself in the kindest and in the most supportive way possible.
Everything can be rebuilt. Build your relationship with yourself this time on the foundation of love, compassion, kindness, trust and support.
Don’t let anybody stop you from taking care of yourself and put yourself highly at all times.
27. Create positive and happy surroundings
Improve your surrounding and create little corners or spaces in your home that makes you feel good and inspires you to work on yourself.
I decorated my balcony for this purpose. It makes me feel good and inspired.
I just cannot work and function properly when my house and room are messy. To read more on this, here is why I enjoy cleaning my home and not dread it.
The first thing I always do when I want to sit down with something is to make sure my spaces are neat and tidy.
Take care of your surrounding and create positive happy spaces.
You will see that it will have a huge return on how positive you feel as well.
28. Identify energy vampires
Identify your energy vampires.
It can be social media, your phone, television, bad food habits, smoking, drinking, too much gossip, complaints, unhealthy sleep habits or anything.
An easy way to identify them is by seeing how you feel AFTER you use them or engage with them and not while you’re still using them.
This is because in the present while we’re actively engaging in them, they all feel really good.
They make us forget things. They are an escape for us. They are truly satisfying in the present.
But it’s only after we use them
These energy vampires come to us as instant gratification and in this modern world, we are being trained to aim for instant gratification.
However, if you want to be a positive person, you have to identify them and let go of it and practice delayed gratification.
29. Build positive habits
Habits either help us become negative and make us take the dark path, or they help us become positive and happy.
What we do every day defines our life and who and how we show up in this world.
Build healthy habits in your life no matter what age you are in right now.
30. Don’t try too hard to be positive
Lastly, I’d just like to say don’t try too hard.
Don’t try too hard to be positive. Let yourself evolve naturally as you engage in new habits, learn new thought patterns and unlearn the things you need to.
Don’t force yourself to feel good and positive all the time, but embrace all that you are feeling.
However, don’t succumb to negativity and hopelessness too.
It’s all about maintaining a balance and accepting life as it is and also changing those parts that can be changed.
As long as you have the determination and you are willing to make the changes in your life, the current negatives can be transformed into positives.
Final thoughts on how to be more positive
You were born here to live a positive and hopeful life.
And I want to end by saying, that it’s possible.
I didn’t mean to make this article so long, but it seemed like I had so much to say.
I hope you spread your positivity in this world and people come and tell you, “I feel safe in your presence”
“I feel happy when I look at you”
“Your positivity inspires me”
Keep on working on yourself and strive to be an example of what a positive person looks like.
Let us inspire hope, courage and positivity just from our being.
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