Our lives are very dynamic. It is continually shifting. Some days are good and some days are tough. How do you practice self care when you are feeling hurt and unbalanced? Here are some self care ideas for tough days.
But here’s also something to remember. Until and unless everything in your life is aligned to who you are right now at this point in time, it will continue to shift, breaking old walls or building new boundaries.
And although you might feel it is their fault or your fault, it is actually only the Universe’s way of aligning your life to what your values, your ideals are, and to who you are right now at this point in time.
But when this happens, it is certain to bring chaos, imbalance, and also deep hurt. Expect yourself to feel hurt in the course of your lives especially on the path to your growth. It is actually necessary for your growth.
But at this present moment, when the hurt just doesn’t seem to go away, how do you deal with the hurt and how can be take better care of ourselves? How do we practice self care?
Today, I start with a poem,
“What do you do when you are deeply hurt?
When the world doesn’t seem to understand you?
Do you drown in anger and keep being mad, seeing yourself through their eyes too?
Or do you give it a moment.
Reflect and pause, and listen to what your heart is speaking to you?
‘Remember, you have been given your own hands, your own legs, and your own eyes,
The ones who try to give you their eyes become blind to their own life.’
So what do you do when you are deeply hurt?
Will you fume yourself in other’s lies or
Will you rise higher and find your truth through your own eyes?”
11 Self care Ideas for tough days
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Whatever your reasons may be for feeling hurt, when such a feeling comes over, you might feel it taking over all of your life.
Don’t let it. Don’t give your hurt the permission to tell you who you have become, what you should do, or who you should be. Navigate safely through the hurt and regain your balance.
There is a way to find balance through the hurt. And that way is love, self-love and Self care.
Self love is not just a concept. It is a constant practice. And when you practice self love it becomes self care. Love is a verb and even to your own self, the rule is the same.
11 self care ideas for tough days when you feel hurt
1. Expect yourself to find yourself off balance:
The first most essential practice of self-love when you are feeling deeply hurt is to understand that you will find yourself off balance.
It is okay if you find your mind pre-occupied with thoughts that hurt you or even that causes you anger. It is okay if it makes you cry while you share your emotions with others. Try to be reasonable with yourself. You are only human.
In that time where you find yourself too off-balanced, allow yourself to feel messy, uncomfortable, distracted, and even exhausted. Allow yourself to be off-balanced but don’t drown in imbalance either.
In the course of your long life, this hurt that you are feeling right now will seem like a tiny star in the vast multitude of the Universe.
So that is why, get back up and put your self-care to practice.
2. Acknowledge your feelings:
Just as acknowledging the feelings of another and respecting the feelings of another shows that you actually love the other person, acknowledging the feelings that you are feeling (whatever it may be) is the first step to showing that you actually love yourself.
It is the first practice of self love.
So simply notice your feelings: Your feelings towards whatever hurt you or whoever hurt you.
Tell yourself, ‘Right now it is like this. Right now I am feeling like this’.
If you feel bad, notice that you are feeling bad. If you feel agitated, notice that you are agitated. If there is anger, notice that you have anger. Nothing more and nothing less.
Simply notice that it is there and do nothing. You carry on with your day. There is nothing wrong with feeling these feelings.
So when you are feeling hurt, acknowledge your hurt because that is the truth right now.
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3. Drink water with love:
When we are hurt, we find ourselves off balance and forget everything. But please don’t forget to hydrate yourself.
This might not seem too important, but it is actually very essential. Your body needs it and your body will thank you for remembering it.
But don’t just drink; try to drink every sip of water with mindful awareness.
Here is how you can drink water with love-
- As you hold the cup of your glass, know that you are holding the glass and as you drink your water, know that you are drinking water.
- Bring your awareness to your sip whether it is hot or cold and as you drink it, be thankful for the water.
- As you drink your water, just be thankful to yourself for remembering to drink your water mindfully and simply just be with the sip of water.
- Lovingly drink your water. Lovingly know that you are taking care of your body as you drink water mindfully.
We drink water unconsciously but by being aware of it, it can be a wonderful act of self-love.
I try to do this with my first glass of water every morning but I felt this could be done through out the day with a little bit more awareness as a wonderful act of self-love especially when you are feeling hurt.
You will give yourself love and attention every time you drink water this way.
But it is natural that you may forget it or even forget to drink water. So you can download a water reminder app that will help you to remind yourself to drink water. With every reminder, come back to yourself, come back to the water, and come back to self-love.
4. Take a hot water bath with love
Just as you drink your water with loving awareness. Take a hot water bath with loving awareness.
Take bath slowly. Be aware of your body touching the warm water. Be thankful for the water that is helping you cleanse your body, which is helping you feel fresh and rejuvenated.
This will naturally bring in you a sense of deep gratitude and in such moments where you are just in the ‘now’, appreciating the warm bath or a warm cup of water, you will find your balance again and you will forget about your hurt. It will just stop mattering to you.
5. Journal as an act of self-care
Paper has more patience than people. Write down all of your emotions, all of your feelings. Writing gives clarity when confusion sets in.
When you feel hurt, you become unreasonable with yourself and also with things you have been hurt. But writing will help you see things clearly and will help you navigate through the hurt.
Writing will help you understand and acknowledge your feelings better. So write it down and most importantly write what you have learned. Even if you have tiny thoughts, write it down.
6. Give yourself a loving rest
When you are hurt, it is natural to feel tired even though you haven’t done anything much. So allow yourself to rest. And by rest, I mean true rest.
Rest not just for your body but also for your mind. Your mind needs it more. It has grown tired with all the mess, confusion, and hurt.
Allow yourself to slow things down. Here are 8 essential tips that will help you slow things down.
Turn off the notifications as an act of self-love for your mind and give your mind some time to rest. Don’t let in too much information for some time. Simply slow things down.
7. Go for a solo walk
Going on a walk along with music is one of the best therapies for me. I thoroughly enjoy walking alone on all days. Most of us don’t like to go on a walk alone, so if you haven’t, try to do it especially when you’re feeling down or hurt or angry.
Just go by yourself and you’ll come back feeling much better.
8. Forget your to-do list and immerse yourself in something you love
When we are feeling particularly hurt it is so easy to go to the usual routes of temporary pleasure and distraction. Those are also necessary and you may allow it too, but don’t let it be your only refuge.
Forget everything that is lying pending for a while and immerse yourself in something you love or rather, anything that you know will make you feel satisfied.
It can be painting, cooking, gardening, makeup, or anything. For me, it is writing and drawing.
I know you just won’t feel like it, but just buckle up your energy and direct it towards creating or doing something that makes you feel satisfied. Sit down to it and simply do the thing. Do this for at least 20-25 minutes.
It greatly helps.
Making your heart satisfied is the biggest act of self love.
And I have found this one app really helpful. It is the ‘Forest app’ that sets a timer for 25 minutes that will also plant trees while you focus.
9. Create a loving environment
Before you find yourself trying too hard to regain your balance, first create a loving environment. When we’re hurt, our minds and heart are already in chaos. Give it a loving environment to rest.
By this I mean you must have a clean room- the space where you spend the most time must be your outer sanctuary, not like a war zone.
De-clutter all the unessential if you haven’t.
As you clean your space, do it with gratitude that you are now creating a sacred space for yourself. With every space you clean, let yourself feel as if you are cleaning your heart from the hurt and allowing yourself new space to rejuvenate.
You don’t know how much of an impact it can have on your mental state. At all times, I love to return to my space which is neat and tidy. Being in my space calms me down.
You deserve it for yourself and you must create it for yourself.
Your eyes will love to see the new change, your mind will love to feel calmer and your heart will love to feel more satisfied.
10. Trust your heart and pray
Our heart has a language of its own. Trust it. It speaks to you in vibrations, in gut feeling, and in intuitions and if you are a good listener, it speaks to you directly.
And in order to know your own heart, sit in silence, reflect and pray.
If it feels that you can’t form a deep connection with someone, it is okay and it is okay if they too can’t form a deep connection with you. Just don’t let criticism start residing in your heart.
Pray for yourself to be unshaken. Pray for your heart to be cleansed. Pray to acknowledge all your feelings and pray to be patient with yourself and to those who have hurt you.
Don’t be concerned with what those who hurt you have in their heart for you. Be concerned with what you have inside your own heart for you.
11. Be careful with how you see yourself
Lastly, when you are feeling deeply hurt, be careful with how you see yourself.
People are very good at trying to perceive other people’s lives but don’t let other’s perceptions of you become your perception of yourself.
You be concerned with your own garden and your own plants.
The fool who loves giving advice on our garden never tends his own plants at all ~ Paulo Coelho
You have been given your own hands, your own legs, and your own eyes, The ones who try to give you their eyes become blind to their own life.’
So when you feel hurt, don’t see yourself through the eyes of those who don’t love you. Be so busy pursuing your heart’s desires that you have no time to think about what those who don’t love you think of you.
You keep filling yourself up with love and see yourself through your own loving eyes.
But if you really know who you are and you are clear with your true self, this won’t even be required.
Endnote: How to practice self care
So these are some reminders and practices for self care.
When you are hurt, there is no set time for when you will heal, and hence these self-love reminders and self care practices are not something you do one day, and the next day you don’t. It is a practice.
Self-love is not just a feeling. It is the actions that you do for yourself. Self love is self care
We feel hurt when we are misunderstood, but I just want to say that not everyone will understand your journey and you too won’t understand everyone else’s.
I think we feel hurt so that we will be able to empathize with others better and most importantly so that we will be able to empathize with our own selves better, and to know our own selves better. Because it is only in knowing our own self fully, that we can know the other fully.
I wish you a wonderful week ahead full of self love and care.
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