This world is living in Self-Love deficiency.
It’s not enough for the world to be bitter, we go on and become bitter to our own selves.
It’s not enough for others to criticize and judge us, we go on to criticize and judge ourselves even more harshly.
We know how to be mad at ourselves, how to be critical of ourselves, how to treat our bodies badly, how to work till the point of burnout, how to stay in relationships we know we shouldn’t, but what we don’t know is how to be gentle, how to be kind to ourselves.
We know how to show love to everyone, but we don’t know how to show ourselves love- the one with whom we’re with all our life.
So the question is..
How am I supposed to love myself?
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Deep in the centre of your being, is your ‘self’- your ‘true self’. It resides in the inner citadel of your being.
You can tune in to her/him at all times, but it requires the stillness of the heart and mind.
Most of the time we forget to tune in to this inner being- our inner child, our true self. We forget it’s even there.
Many people even go about their entire lives never meeting their inner self distracted by the noise, the chatter, the overwork, and petty issues of life.
But this inner self is waiting for you to acknowledge her because she has been neglected for so long and talked to poorly and criticised all her life.
But you should know she’s also quick to recover.
She heals quickly once you only start giving her the food of understanding, love and belief.
But these ingredients must not come from anywhere or anyone else. It must all come from you yourself.
It is as if you must go within and feed to her your own love, care, and affection and tell her, “I believe in you”.
Once you start feeding her your own love, and tell her you trust her and believe in her, there is nothing that your truest self cannot do for you.
She can move mountains.
She has all the potential in the world and she already has everything she needs, which simply means that, YOU already have everything you need.
So if you ask, “How am I supposed to love myself?”
You’re supposed to love yourself by giving your self- your truest self your love, care, understanding and belief it so dearly needs.
What is self-love?
Self-love is the act of putting yourself first not selfishly, but selflessly so that you can reach your highest self only to return the love and goodness back into the world.
Self-love is sincerely doing what is best for you.
It is breaking free from old habits and self-sabotaging behaviours.
It will be hard, so you will need to strengthen your self-love.
Here self-love will mean strengthening your resolve.
Self-love is acknowledging that the past is behind you and accepting that it can’t be changed so you focus on doing this present moment right.
Self-love is believing in your future and setting a determination to create a beautiful life in THIS lifetime.
Self-love is not giving up on yourself and renewing yourself day after day.
Even though we may not be able to see self-love, it is there.
Self-love is real and it can be practised.
Your words, your actions, and your daily habits constitute whether you’re loving yourself, ignoring yourself or hating yourself.
If you want to practice self-love and show yourself love, first, focus on your habits and you’ll be able to change your life.
So here in this post, I want to share 10 Powerful self-love habits that will change your life
Self Love habits that will change your life
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1. Stop criticizing yourself
We are all so careless with the words we speak.
But words have power because the words we say to ourselves become our beliefs and our beliefs in turn end up becoming our actions for the rest of our lives unless we consciously try to change them.
That is why the first self-love habit to cultivate is to be extremely careful of the words you choose to say to yourself.
Nobody can do us more harm than our own unkind thoughts and our own unkind words.
But also nobody can do us greater good than our own kind words and kind thoughts.
If you ever notice, we end up criticizing ourselves and scolding ourselves for the mistakes we make or made in the way our parents or loved ones used to scold us.
We hate getting scoldings from others and resent others for criticizing us, but within ourselves, we scold ourselves and criticize ourselves more harshly than anyone else.
“You can never do anything right”
“You don’t deserve good things”
“You are not good enough”
“You couldn’t even do this much!”
“You will never amount to anything in life”
These are the things we commonly say (and believe).
No wonder we have such bad relationships with ourselves. No wonder why we can never change our life.
Stop criticizing yourself. You can do anything you put your heart to.
As Louis Hay says, “You’ve been criticising yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens”
One thing I can say from experience is that it will save you and change your life.
P.S. When a critical thought comes, simply notice it. Don’t judge that critical thought again, saying “I can never be kind to myself” or“I am always so critical of myself”
You need to break the pattern of criticizing yourself, not criticize yourself more for criticizing yourself.
2. Practice Positive affirmations
Using positive affirmations is a powerful self-love habit that you must practice every day.
It is the fastest way of changing our thoughts and limiting our beliefs.
We are unconsciously always affirming and because we are unaware, our affirmations are mostly in the negative.
Whatever we affirm we believe and whatever we believe in turn becomes our actions.
If you say “I can’t do this” your actions will be such that you won’t even try because you have already affirmed you can’t do it.
If you say “I am always late” then your actions will become so that willingly or unwillingly you will always be late.
If you want to change, then you have to start turning these affirmations around.
At first, you have to train yourself to practice speaking positive affirmations and over time they will be done easily.
Here are some ways you can practice positive affirmations
- Write them in your journal every day
- Read positive affirmations out loud in the morning
- Sing out positive affirmations
- Look in the mirror.. look into your eyes and speak positive affirmations feeling it
- Write one positive affirmation before going to bed each night
3. Have a good relationship with the mirror
When you look at yourself in front of the mirror, do you acknowledge what you see or do you just simply ignore it or see it with indifference?
So many of us don’t have a good relationship with the mirror.
We don’t like what we see and always tend to judge it consciously or unconsciously. Other times we’re just indifferent to what we see.
We hardly take a close look at ourselves using the mirror only for dressing up.
But you can make the mirror work for you in your self-growth and self-love.
Start to have a good relationship with your mirror.
Be intentional when coming in front of the mirror.
Whether you are putting on your cream or have to come in front of the mirror to change your clothes, have a moment with yourself.
Smile to yourself. Greet yourself and look into your eyes. There is no one like you on this Earth and it is magnificent.
Intentionally go in front of the mirror sometime in the morning and speak positive affirmations.
Say that you love yourself. Say that you respect yourself. Say that you will make yourself proud. Say that you will create a beautiful life for yourself in this lifetime itself. This is mirror work as said by Louis Hay.
Maybe also dance and sing in front of the mirror in the morning. You don’t always need to have an occasion to dance and sing.
You can dance and sing and be joyful even if there is nothing to celebrate or even if you live all alone.
Having one extra life to live is itself a celebration. This breath is itself a celebration.
Once you build a good relationship with the mirror, your self-love will automatically start to increase and you will never settle for less and you will start to treat yourself highly.
4. Journal your heart out
One good habit that I am so grateful to have cultivated is that of journaling.
I have been journaling consistently since 2016 and it has helped me grow more than anything over the years.
When I started it, I didn’t know it was such a big self-love habit, but now I know how much it contributes to keeping me sane, giving me wisdom and connecting with my true inner self.
When I write, I always come back to my true self and I know exactly how I am feeling.
The guidance comes through the pen as if the Universe is guiding me and I am simply writing it down.
You don’t have to think too much about what to write.
Simply write what comes to your mind at the time of writing.
It can be about how you’re feeling, anything that bothers you, what you did, what you want to do, what made you happy, what made you frustrated, anything.
Nobody will read it except you. So don’t worry about getting it right.
Let it be your autobiography that you leave behind.
Journal your heart out and you will see you slowly become your own best friend.
P.S. I have created a 21-Day Journaling Guide for Self-discovery, growth and healing.
If you haven’t taken any other challenge of mine, you can join this challenge.
You will receive journal prompts and guidance from me for the next 21 days to inspire you every day.
5. Improve your mornings
How do you spend your mornings?
Do you wake up and then just rush off for work not giving any time to yourself? To your growth? To your nurturing?
If you want to love yourself and want to see drastic positive changes in your life- work first and foremost in trying to improve your mornings.
It’s not that hard.
Spend one morning intentionally. Spend one morning how you would truly want to spend. See how it feels to you.
I simply ask for one morning to be improved. Try it tomorrow.
If you like how it makes you feel, that itself will be a motivator for you. Then you simply have to resolve to spend the next morning meaningfully too.
Wake up a bit early and give some time to yourself.
You can write 1-2 pages in a diary, practice some affirmations, do things more slowly than you normally do, stretch for 10 minutes, read for a while or do anything for your soul, for your growth.
If you don’t have much time, try this 1 hour morning routine and feel the difference.
6. Move your body to love yourself
It’s wonderful to have a body to live in. It is what allows us to enjoy this life.
Our body is simply a medium through which we can use this world and see the wonders and magic of this world.
Through our hands, we get to eat, touch, hold. Through our eyes, we get to see. Through our legs, we get to walk.
Feel love for your body for all that it is doing for you.
Give all your body parts- your hands, your legs, your brain, your organs for working tirelessly for you.
And in return, you can do this much- move your body so that it can function well for you.
I always say exercise is sweating in self-love.
You don’t have to get started with high-intensity workouts. You don’t have to work out for 1 hour each day to feel like you are working out.
Simply 20 minutes of exercise can also do much good.
Simply focus on moving your body.
I love stretching. It is such a relaxing thing to do and I always feel so relaxed after it.
I feel daily movement and exercise do not simply do good to my body, but have also done me good in strengthening my resolve, my determination, and how I feel in the day and give me more peace of mind than anything.
After a good workout even if it’s just for 30 minutes, I feel I can tackle anything and feel so good.
7. Slow down and be mindful
In this age where everyone is saying fast fast fast, be a rebel and slow down.
Ask yourself, “What is this rush for?”
“What is truly important for me”
A moment of slowness in answering these questions can reveal many things that can change how you do life.
Slow down your mornings and evenings especially.
Do whole tasks. Finish what you started. Stop multitasking and do things one at a time.
Sit with one task completely and while you’re at it, stop thinking of when it will be over to get started with another.
Don’t be tempted to work all the time. Have spaciousness in your day for silence, love, laughter and family time.
Be mindful of the things that you do each day- how are you spending your time? How are you feeling? What do you truly want to do?
Also, be thankful; when you are thankful, you will automatically be mindful.
Here are my 8 practices for slowing down.
8. Always look your best
My grandmother is a great example, I have seen in my life who is strong in her self-care and self-love.
She is 88 and still doing fit and fine.
She wakes up at 5 every morning and even at 88 she grooms herself well the first thing after freshening up even though she stays at home all day.
She combs her hair and puts her cream that is -fair and lovely from what I have seen ever since I have known her and she also still uses the same comb since I was little.
She then exercises a bit, which is mostly only focused on moving her body lightly and then does an oil massage in her legs, hands and back.
This she does every single day and has done ever since I have known her.
She then eats a healthy breakfast and follows her routine meticulously.
I believe this is the reason for her longevity and good health.
No matter how old you are or what you do, always take care of how you look.
Keep your hair tidy. Dress well. Wear good clothes and keep yourself together, even at home.
Don’t be lazy to wear cream and moisturise your body.
Don’t be so concerned about managing everyone’s life that you forget to take care of your own.
Looking our best gives us confidence and makes us feel good about ourselves.
It is so essential for self-love.
9. Eat good food
Eat good food for your body. Live not just to eat but eat to live well.
Include fruits and vegetables in your diet.
Eat more of the food that grows and remove the foods that don’t grow.
From there you will know what you need to add and what you need to remove.
Cut off junk food and processed food.
Remove sugar and caffeine as much as you can.
Follow a healthy diet so that you can live well and long so that you have more time to live out your dream life and fulfil what you were put on Earth to do.
10. Practice gratitude
Lastly, don’t forget to practice gratitude. Make gratitude your way of life and see how it alters situations.
Whatever happens in your life believe that it is for your highest good and that even if one thing doesn’t work out, the Universe/God’s heart is such that it will always try to give better in the next.
You only have to be patient and grateful about the present things and other things that are going well.
Be gratitude conscious- thankfulness consciousness instead of complaint consciousness.
Be good at spotting the things to be grateful or happy about, instead of being good at spotting complaints in your life.
Speak the good about your husband, your wife, your children and they will be even better.
Wake up with gratitude and go to bed with gratitude.
Before you go to bed, think or write down the things that happened in the day and bless each person and each event that came to your day.
Think or write down the best thing that happened and soon you will see a series of best things always happening for you.
So these are how you can practice self-love
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Apply it in your day-to-day life and see if there is any shift you can feel.
Self-love is the first step we must take towards our revolution.
Taking the journey without self-love will burn us out and won’t help us survive.
With self-love, the journey is sustainable and enjoyable through all the ups and downs of life.
It is what will give us the courage to keep on coming home to ourselves.
You might also like:
- How to love yourself in the best possible way
- How to spend me-time intentionally
- Worst habits for your mental health
- How to practice self-respect
- 101 Self-Love Affirmations