Hello dear reader,
How have you been doing this June?
Sorry for not showing up these past two weeks. Those who emailed me asking for my newsletter and asking me how I am doing, thank you.
It feels wonderful to know that you think of me too.
Sometimes I feel like what I am doing here is too insignificant and self-doubt creeps in, but when I look up at the kind comments and emails I have received, it gives me the strength to keep going and I come back to my why.
It is to give you hope, encouragement and kindness your way.
But there are days when I struggle to find them too.
There are days when I don’t feel like I can do anything much.
And on such days I don’t force myself too much. However, I also recognize that too much easiness on self also doesn’t do any good.
We have to know when we should be kind enough to be easy on ourselves as well as strict enough so as to not fall off our purpose.
Sometimes we have to let go and be kind, tend to our hurt, our tiredness, and our over ambition and listen to what our inner self, our own inner child is saying, give it time and take care of it.
And at other times we shouldn’t listen to it at all (because sometimes it is too adamant, too childish, too immature, too reckless and too lazy)
At such times, we need to recognize the rebel child in us, be strict with her/him and give it what it truly needs.
The process of following our purpose, our dreams and personal growth is so much like parenting our inner child.
You wouldn’t give your sick child an ice cream no matter how much she cries for it.
We need to baby our own selves.
We have to be our own loving parents to our own inner child and have the wisdom to know what our inner self/ our inner child truly needs.
This June I felt like my cup was getting empty and I couldn’t give joyfully.
I tried to relax and ease myself as the summer holidays began.
I went for my first-ever solo trip to the northern state of India, Himachal Pradesh and enjoyed a week there.
I wished to email you from there, but there wasn’t good internet connectivity on the Monday I was supposed to send you my newsletter.
I walked around, rented a scooter, met wonderful people, and went for the Triund trek.
It was so much of a learning experience.
I couldn’t wait to tell you about my experience of it, but after I came back, my dog who was improving in her health condition, again got sick.
Her diagnosis reported that she had a heart problem.
Her heart wasn’t able to pump effectively, and so fluid was building up in her lungs causing her to breathe in great difficulty.
I was in Kolkata then because of my work. The day I came home, her breathing seemed much more difficult.
I was with her all through the day. She always used to sit beside me. I tried to work all morning, but somehow just couldn’t concentrate.
I didn’t know this was the last morning I had with her.
She passed that evening itself. It was as if she was waiting only for me to come home.
I can’t imagine what I would do if I wasn’t able to see her one last time.
It’s heartbreaking. She was my baby, my Bella, the best dog I have ever come across. She was the most obedient, reserved, intelligent, calm and sweet dog.
Everybody who had ever come across Bella would say, “I have never seen a dog like Bella”
She was truly one of a kind.
She would always come and sit calmly whenever my Mum and I would sit for prayer and when she would hear the bell.
If she was a human, she would have been the most finest human being, a nun, a monk or a meditation practitioner.
That’s how her nature was.
I had written about her and her friend Kiki who is my aunt’s dog in one of my older post- ‘How would you describe your dog?’
This year I lost two of my most loving pets- Mia, my kitten early January and my Bella this last Friday on July 23rd, whom we had adopted in January 2017.
I felt like I was only recently healing from the loss of my kitten and now I lost my Bella again.
I hadn’t in a bit expected that they would pass away, but life is uncertain, and as cliche as it sounds, we must cherish the times we have with our loved ones in this present moment as much as we can.
I am sorry for digressing from what I was originally saying.
But you can breathe in for a moment here with me.
Pause a little.
Think of your loved ones close to you.
If they’re all right, if they’re near you, if they’re talking to you, laughing with you, we must be thankful they’re there in this moment.
I miss my Bella, my Mia terribly.
I didn’t feel like doing anything, but I forced myself to go out for a walk last evening, otherwise I knew I wouldn’t be able to bring myself up.
This morning I got back to reading the ‘The Art of Living’ by Thich Nhat Hanh and Thay’s words gave me hope once again.
The words I read this morning felt like it was speaking right for me,
One of the passages read,
“The cloud that was in the sky earlier may seem to have disappeared. But if we look deeply, we see that the same elements that made up the cloud have now become rain, mist or even snow. The true nature of the cloud, H20, is still there, existing in new forms. It is impossible for H20 to pass from something to nothing, from being into nothing. Although we can no longer see it, the cloud has not died. Perhaps it turned into rain, which then became the water that flowed out of the faucet and into my kettle, filling my cup with tea. It has not died; it is just playing hide and seek!”
I now ask myself again, what my inner self truly needs if I am to come back to myself.
You can ask yourself the same,
“What does your inner child need right now? Do you have to be kind enough to yourself to let yourself loose or do you have to be strict with yourself and give yourself tough love so as to come back to your purpose, your mission and your goals for life?”
This time I recognise it is to be a little strict with myself in terms of my habits and my routine and come back to my determination and my writing again.
I haven’t had a blog post or a podcast out in these past two weeks, and I am missing it.
Writing this newsletter after a gap felt good too.
This week I am going to fill my cup again.
This week I will return to writing and recording again and I hope you will be reading and listening again.
Blog Post of the week
Table of Contents
Here are some blog posts written from some time ago, which you might love:
- The power of accepting off-track moments
- Go slow if you want to grow
- A simple practice to help you find your goals
Quote of the week
One from others
“If you do one nice thing a day for yourself, God will do two more”
One from me
Look around and see
Everything on this planet
is reaching for its highest potential,
from the ants who diligently gather food
for the winter’s night,
from the plants that are bending and growing
to get some sunlight
From the bees going flower to flower
just to make some honey,
To the rivers diligently flowing
to reach the sea
So what makes us not try to reach for ours?!
I want to join hands with the ants, the bees,
the plants, the rivers and the trees
and tell them, “I too am one of you
Reaching for my highest virtue
I won’t give up so easily too”
Thank you for being patient with me.
See you next week
Much love and kindness,
P.S This was from my Mindful Monday Newsletter. If you liked what you read and want to receive my updates, join below. It would be wonderful to have you ❤️