Hello dear reader,
Happy Monday!
I hope you have been doing wonderful.
It’s been raining daily here in Kolkata and the weather has been delightful lately.
Yesterday on Sunday, after a deep cleaning session at home, I along with my friend Dikcha and sister, Peggy made Korean lunch at home- Bibimbap and Ramen.
They helped me with cutting the vegetables and I did the cooking. It took more than 2 hours as a first timer but it was well worth it.
We finished off with almond ice cream and then enjoyed watching my current favourite series- Panchayat on Amazon Prime.
If you want to see the real Indian village life, you should watch this series. It’s so real and all the actors have done an amazing job.
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Anyway, today I want to bring to your attention 3 words that you should choose to replace and why changing your thoughts might not be that important.
I know it’s contrary to what people say.
We have all heard many times ‘Change your thoughts and you change your life.’
And yes, it’s indeed true. Changing our thoughts for the better does change our lives for the better.
We consider the order to go like this:
#1. Thoughts > words > actions
Table of Contents
(Thoughts determining the words that we speak and words that we speak determining the actions we take)
And so we are in a desperate attempt to change our thoughts.
We want to think positive and good thoughts because have come to know that it is our thoughts that ultimately create our reality.
What I mean to say here is that mostly, we only give importance to thoughts.
But the order goes many other ways as well.
And today I want to share with you the other two orders that equally have the power to change our life.
#2. Words > thoughts > actions
Words have great power over our thoughts and actions.
And it is here that I want to share with you three words that you must choose to change and replace.
There are many other words as well, but today I want to bring attention to just these 3.
a). “I can’t”
Too often we say the word “I can’t” without even thinking.
If there is anything that requires some amount of risk, dedication, luck, hard work or trying something out of our comfort zone, our first instinct is to say “I can’t”.
We don’t even think about it much.
There is simply the word “I can’t” and the story is over.
But it’s not the thought- “I can’t” that led us to say “I can’t”, but rather the opposite.
(You can read that again.)
Because we already said “I can’t”, it led us to think and then believe that “I really can’t”
What are the things you are saying “I can’t” to in this lifetime?
When you say “I can’t”, you’re actually saying “I won’t” in disguise.
Rather say “I won’t” than “I can’t”
Then choose what you’re saying “I won’t” to.
Are you saying it out of fear or are you saying it out of will?
Dig deep into the words that you speak casually.
b). “I’ll try”
Similar to “I can’t”, “I’ll try” is also a lie.
I once read somewhere that trying is lying. You’re either doing it or you’re not.
When you say “I’ll try” what you really mean is you don’t even want to try.
When you say “I am trying to sleep early”, you’re not trying.
When you say, “I’ll try to do it”, you’re not going to do it with your whole heart.
When we say the word “I’ll try”, it removes us from being accountable, responsible and showing up.
What are the things you are saying “I am trying” to?
It’s time to stop trying and start doing.
c). “I need to”
Similar to “I’m trying to”, “I need to” is another lie.
Too often we use the word ‘need’ loosely.
“I need to lose weight”
“I need to start walking”
“I need to stop overeating”
But they aren’t really needs.
Our needs would be our need to sleep, eat, and breathe. They are what we need in order to survive.
When we say “I need to”, it also lets us off the hook and we don’t actually have to act on it.
Replace “I need to” with “I want to” instead.
If you say “I want to” you can choose to.
If you want to start walking, you can choose to start walking.
But if you say “I need to” you will keep finding excuses not to and saying “I am trying” without actually trying.
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Change your words (both words that you speak and words that you read or listen to) and you change your thoughts and actions.
We sometimes might rightly feel that we don’t have control over our thoughts. It thinks what it wants to think.
But we always have a choice over what words we choose to speak and what words we choose to read and listen to.
Read good words and you will think good thoughts.
Listen to good words and you will act like it.
That’s why being mindful of the books we choose to read, and the things we listen to are important.
That’s why also positive affirmations work.
It’s not only thoughts that change our words and actions.
Words change our thoughts and actions also in a much greater way.
And about the other order…
It is this:
#3. Actions > thoughts > words
or also,
Actions > words > thoughts
Our body has a language of its own.
The way we act with our bodies also has a great impact on our thoughts, words and feelings.
Act gently with your body and your mind will automatically relax.
Move gracefully.
Pick things up mindfully.
Keep things gently. Do things slowly.
Choose to do your work in a calm relaxed manner, instead of rushing and panicking and your thoughts and words will shift to a more gentle approach too.
Put a half smile on your face just like that, and your mind will feel loved and you will want to think kind thoughts.
P.S. I had written more on this in one of my blog posts. You can read it here: The Power of Graceful Movement In Life on Wellbeing
It’s not only thoughts that matter.
Our actions matter too.
Our words matter too.
You don’t have to try to change your thoughts so much. Just change your words and actions.
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