Deciding when to walk away from a relationship is a deeply personal thing. Every relationship is different and has its own story.
The decision to walk away does not come easy.
A woman in love will do everything she can to save the relationship if she loves the person.
She will do everything that’s in her hands so as not to give up.
She will be understanding. She will be patient. She will give space. She will give time. She will openly communicate. She will forsake her own needs. She will cry and some even go to the point of begging and losing their self-respect over it.
But she also has the power to walk away when she finally knows that it’s time.
When to walk away from a relationship
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Love and emotions cloud our judgment and reasoning. We remain in denial (or Delulu so to say)
We tend to overlook all the ways the relationship is not working and hang on to the minutest thing or the bare minimum that tries to convince us they love us.
Even when it’s time to walk away from the relationship, we still do not know if we’re making the right decision.
We cling to the idea of perfect we have in our minds and only tend to see the positive and the good.
We get scared of the future, of our life without them and there is constant confusion.
But I want to tell you that if you love someone wholeheartedly, you deserve to get the same love back.
You deserve to be with someone who nurtures that love instead of taking it for granted.
We are here to be abundant in all aspects of our life- from wealth, health, happiness, joy and also love.
Love is such a big part of our lives and love should be abundant too otherwise it will start to hamper and disbalance the other aspects of our life as well.
You should be able to feel the sun from both sides.
And if it’s not this, don’t settle for anything less. Choose to walk away.
This post is for everyone who is confused and is unclear on their relationship, whether to try and stay or to walk away.
5 Signs its time to walk away from a relationship
I cannot tell the specifics of each relationship, but generally, this is what I consider is high time you walk away from the relationship.
1. The love is draining you more than energizing you
Love is supposed to be energizing.
It is supposed to be natural, easygoing, fun and have abundant laughter.
Of course, hurdles and ups and downs are a part of any relationship.
No relationship is perfect, but as long as clear effort is shown from both sides, love cannot be draining and love will continue to renew itself.
But if this is not so and it is draining you more than energising you and if it has been this way for the longest time, know that it’s time to walk away.
If laughter is becoming scarce
If open communication has started to become rare.
If your relationship is costing you your peace, stability and you have to constantly play mind games trying to understand things.
If it is leaving you tired and you’re constantly second-guessing yourself, know that it’s not worth it and you don’t need this kind of relationship.
2. They are not willing to do their part
Even the healthiest of love and relationships requires work.
The connection will bring you closer, but it is maintenance that will keep the relationship flourishing.
You deserve to be with someone who knows the importance of the relationship in their lives.
You deserve to be with someone who cannot risk losing what they have with you no matter what is going on in their lives.
You deserve to be with someone who knows that effort is required to make any relationship work.
You deserve to be with someone who puts things aside, cares for you and shows up for you no matter what.
If they’re not willing to do their part and they keep on giving you reasons or excuses for why they are not able to do their part (no matter how reasonable it may sound), know that they are not emotionally prepared to care for your love.
They may be in love with you, but you need to know that they are not ready to support you and your happiness.
Don’t forget, it’s not perfection we demand, but effort.
Walk away from the relationship if it is only you who is putting in the effort
Walk away from the relationship if it’s only you who is making most of the compromises.
3. They don’t know how to handle conflicts and challenges
In a relationship, there will always be conflicts and challenges from time to time.
Life too isn’t always smooth.
Things don’t always go as planned.
There will be conflicts and challenges in life which we may not even be able to think of now.
Pay attention to how they handle life’s challenges and struggles.
Who you choose to be with will affect your mental health, peace, stability, your goals, your ambitions and happiness.
Remember we are not asking for someone who knows it all, but someone who is willing to work through it all and who does not leave the relationship stranded until they figure it all out.
You don’t want to be with someone who is pessimistic and has no hope in life. It will drain you.
You want to be with someone who wants to navigate life’s challenges with you and who is willing to sail the waves along with you growing through it all.
If they are good to you only when things are in order and everything is going as planned, anyone could be good to you.
If they care for you only when you are on your best behaviour
If they love you only when things are perfect, then you don’t need this kind of relationship and you need to know it’s best to walk away.
Also, pay attention to how you both mend things when relationship problems arise.
Do they respect your needs and work on becoming better?
Do they put their egos aside and make the relationship more important?
Are they ready to do the hard conversations?
Do they communicate and actively work on resolving things?
Or do they shut off completely, turn a deaf ear to your emotional needs, avoid hard things, fail to communicate, take you for granted and leave the relationship to drains?
Pay attention to how much you have been tolerating such behaviour.
Don’t demean the little voice in your heart.
If they show no accountability and responsibility for the relationship more than once or twice, know that they won’t ever.
It will only give them more reasons to take you for granted and you deserve so much better.
4. They are not there when you need them the most
Love is not just for happy times but for all times.
Try to see love as a journey and include all the good and the bad.
If you want to be with someone you can be fully certain that they will be there to support you and care for you at all times.
When we love someone we tend to overlook all the little negative things thinking that’s not real.
We tend to think the good times are the real thing and not the bad times.
But you need to realise that the bad times are as real as the good times.
Both are permanent and both are temporary.
Recall back on the times when you were most vulnerable, sad, sick, going through struggles and challenges or simply when you needed some help and needed someone to be there.
In those times, how did they act?
Were they there for you when you needed them the most?
Were they able to put aside everything else and be there for you?
Did they support you, willingly or did you always have to ask and beg for it?
If deep inside you know that you can’t count on them, then it’s best to walk away.
You deserve to be with someone you’re certain without a doubt will be there for you in sickness and health, in good times and bad.
This is not asking for too much. It comes naturally when you truly love someone and when someone truly loves you.
Being there for someone you love is a privilege and not an obligation.
Walk away from someone who acts like it’s an obligation to do things for you.
5. There’s no growth and self-awareness
Your relationship with someone is a reflection of your relationship with self-awareness and growth.
Love shines a mirror on the things we need to work on.
If we let it, our love and our relationship with our partner help us see where we are lagging and where we need to grow.
It helps us grow into a better person.
Love can make us courageous, selfless, kind and brave.
But this cannot be so unless there is growth and self-awareness from both sides.
Understanding has to come from both sides.
Trust has to come from both sides.
Self-awareness has to come from both sides.
Without it, real love can be hard to thrive.
Of course, nobody is perfect, but you need to at least be with someone who is inclined to growth and self-improvement.
When you’re with someone who does not have the level of maturity you are searching for, there won’t be much peace.
With an emotionally unavailable person, love will remain stuck and in stagnation.
Being with a dramatic person will bring more drama into your life.
Being with an insecure person will never give you security.
You best know what kind of a person your partner is.
If you believe they can work on their themselves and choose to be the best version of themselves without you having to demand it, then you can choose to stay.
Otherwise, it’s best to walk away.
Final thoughts on when to walk away from a relationship
I believe in love.
I truly believe that with the right person, love is simple.
There will be challenges and there will be hard times, but at the end of the day, your love will still be simple.
A simple love is one where you both know how much you mean to each other. The connection is impeccable and in challenges, you both are willing to work together as a team.
With the right person, you wouldn’t even have to think whether you need to stay or walk away. Such a situation wouldn’t even arise.
If you have to think hard about whether they are the one for you, there’s a high chance that they’re not the one for you.
I would want to be with someone I do not doubt whether they are the one for me.
I would want to be with someone who respects my love and nurtures it.
And if not this, then nothing.
If you’re still unclear on whether you should try harder or walk away, here are other clear signs you need to walk away:
- Their ego is stronger than love
- Failing to act as a team
- They don’t work on themselves as a person
- There is more stress than happiness in being in a relationship
- Your relationship is costing you peace and happiness in other aspects of your life
- They are not afraid of losing you
- They are not willing to communicate and address the problems
- There are too many little things that have piled up that you have overlooked.
- They are not emotionally available
- They only think of their needs and put themselves and everything else first.
- They don’t show accountability and instead gaslight you.
- They are not mature enough to handle you and give you support
- There are too many mind games involved (This means that they lack maturity)
- They are not consistent in their words and their love
- There is no trust between you two.
- Lastly, you don’t feel genuine care and affection from them.
Look for these signs and if any of these tick, and you know that there is something seriously off in your relationship, you can be sure that it’s time to walk away.
Remember, the Universe will never give you peace in something you were never meant to settle.
Respect yourself, respect your love and know that you deserve so much better.
Your choice to not settle for less is courageous and brave.
The longer you entertain what’s not for you, the longer you postpone what is.
Listen to your heart and see what happens when you choose to walk away from things that no longer support your happiness.
Know that the Universe has your best interest in store. Trust that it is always working in your favour.
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