Hello dear reader,
A very warm and Happy December to you!
The holiday season is here, and I hope you have been having a wonderful time.
December is the season of inviting in warmth, joy, connections and lessons we learned through this year.
It is about letting go of what did not serve us well and closing some chapters with love and forgiveness, then keeping the ones that are truly supportive of our wellbeing and happiness.
And if you’re going to be alone this holiday, I hope you still enjoy it to the fullest for yourself, because you show love to yourself.
With all the buzz going on everywhere with Christmas and New Year around the corner, I hope you also invite in some peace and quiet to your days, at least for some moments.
Stepping Away From Noise
Table of Contents
I’ve recently deactivated Instagram, and every time I step away from the noise of social media, constant notifications and running around aimlessly through my day, and intentionally bring in some silence, ‘doing nothing’ time and rest or read, then I realise how much of my mind was constantly unsettled.
It’s like you don’t know the constant background noise buzzing until it suddenly stops and you realise the difference.
This world is increasingly making it harder and harder to remain true to what we truly want to do in life and how we truly want to live.
It’s a challenge I keep forgetting too, and get swayed away by nothingness and meaningless pursuits, where my day seems to just slip by without me doing anything of much significance.
I feel many times that I am wasting away my days and not doing anything ‘productive’ or accomplishing anything.
This has to change. But I also remind myself that I am not bad simply because of it.
If you struggle with this too, know that you’re not alone.
The desire to do good again, to find meaning again, to look for joy again is what makes you different and capable.
I go back and forth with my truest self and desires, and I guess this is something that will go on throughout our lives.
Introducing “Joy Span”
Recently, I came across the word ‘Joy Span’, and it is on this that I’d like to write today.
We often talk about lifespan (how long we live) and health span (how long we remain physically healthy), but there is another measure that quietly shapes the quality of our days—our joy span.
It’s the length of time we allow ourselves to truly feel joy before we rush back into worry, planning, or self-protection.
Many of us experience joy in our daily lives, but we downplay our moments of joy too much.
We may receive a compliment, and it doesn’t matter so much to us, but one criticism from someone, and it ends up occupying our thoughts throughout the day.
We may enjoy a moment with someone we love, have a peaceful walk, or a quiet cup of tea.
There’s the warmth of the winter sun, talks and laughter with our friends and colleagues, loving moments with our pets, and every day has so many tiny joys that appear.
But what do we do with these little joys? We shrink them.
We don’t let it occupy much space in our hearts and minds.
But one negative thought, one disagreement with a friend, one rude behaviour by a stranger, one long traffic jam — and it occupies so much of our time and even ends up ruining our entire day.
But Joy Span is the ability to stay with a joyful moment longer.
What Dr. Kerry Burnight Says About Joyspan
According to Dr Kerry Burnight, a gerontologist who came up with this term in her book Joyspan: The Art and Science of Thriving in Life’s Second Half, she argues that common metrics like “lifespan” or “healthspan”, though important, are incomplete.
She spent decades researching what allows some people to age not just longer, but with sustained vitality, meaning, and emotional richness.
What really matters, she found, is “joyspan”: the portion of our life that is lived with meaning, connection, purpose and enthusiasm.
As Burnight says, “longevity is meaningless if you don’t like your life.”
Joyspan invites us to redefine what a “good life” means- not just living long or being healthy, but living with inner strength, joy, and presence.
Four Pillars of Joyspan
Dr. Burnight offers a clear, actionable roadmap to cultivate joyspan:
1.Grow: Keep expanding, experimenting, learning new skills or ideas, and embracing curiosity. Don’t wait until you’re old enough. Learn something new, even if it’s uncomfortable or “late.” When we learn new things, it helps us remain engaged with life, not stuck in decline or stagnation.
2. Connect: Cultivate relationships — old and new. Reach out; nurture bonds. As humans, social connection is vital for our belonging, support and emotional richness.
3. Adapt: Learn to face life’s inevitable changes and challenges with flexibility, resilience, and an attitude that embraces imperfection and impermanence. And while life challenges you, don’t give up on meaning and joy.
4. Give: Share yourself with others. You can share your time, care, kindness. Contribution and generosity are not only for others — it is more for your own self because they feed your own sense of purpose, meaning, and belonging.
What This Means About Joy
- Joy is not by accident, but by intention. It is not something we need to wait to happen to us, but something that can be created on our own.
- Joy is a verb. It is an active choice that each person can practice at any stage of life.
Though Dr. Burnight wrote the book by studying ageing and how life’s second half can be improved, “joyspan is for everyone” because we are all ageing, day by day.
The same things that foster a better quality of life at age 50 or 60 can help someone at age 25–30.
And if we’re in our 20s and 30s and we learn to create joy now, it only means that our joy span lasts so much longer, and we get to live a meaningful life for a much longer time.
At any age you’re in, it’s never too early or too late.
In a world chasing longevity and “anti-ageing,” Joyspan says: “Wait. What about quality? What about meaning? What about inner life?”
- Finally, Joy is also not the same as fleeting happiness. Rather than depending on external circumstances, joy can persist even in imperfect conditions — it is more about our internal orientation toward our life.
How to Expand Our Joy Span this December and Beyond
- Pause when something feels good. Don’t rush past it.
- Name the joy: This moment feels peaceful. This love feels warm. This laughter feels wholesome.
- Stay with the feeling for 30 seconds. Let your nervous system record safety instead of stress.
- A small growth act: read something new, or learn a tiny skill.
- Sleep with a grateful heart: Before bed, recount all the good and nice things that happened to you in your day.
- Celebrate small wins: They are not small.
- Reach out to someone: send a message, call a friend, or share a simple conversation with your partner.
- Pause and adapt: Ask, “How can I respond with acceptance, curiosity or kindness?”
- Give a small gift of kindness: a word of appreciation, a thoughtful text, a little act of help.
This way, slowly increase your joy span and reduce your anxiety span, irritation span, sadness span or whatever little bad things you might deal with in your day, which you would otherwise let yourself be consumed by.
As your joy span increases, so will the quality of your life.
Let us strive to expand our Joy Span this December and further.
P.S. Some Big Little News
This January, I plan to start an email series on ‘100 Days of Intentional Living’ for the New Year.
It will be kind of like ‘A Becoming Project’, and I will be as much a part of it as you.
It’s not 10 days or 21 days because real change takes time and commitment.
For 100 days, we will commit to living in alignment with ourselves and take the journey home to our true selves.
It will be for a small price only because I believe we become more serious about the stuff we give our money to and invest in.
This could be the first investment you make for yourself this new year.
If you’re interested, let me know or just hit a smiley as your reply.
This much for today.
Journal Prompt of the Week
- What were three moments of joy I experienced recently? Describe them in detail. How did they make you feel?
- Reflect on the ways you can create joy for yourself this December.
- What am I ready to release this December to make space for joy? A thought pattern? A habit? A relationship? A belief?
Blog Post of the Week
Quote of the Week
One from Others
The moment you start seeing life as non-serious, a playfulness, all the burden on your heart disappears. All the fear of death, of life, of love- everything disappears. One starts living with a very light weight or almost no weight.
— Osho
One from me
To be loved, love
To be understood, understand
To be trusted, trust
The way to receive has always been through giving.
This much for today!
I wish you a wonderful week ahead
Love and regards,
Vishaka
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